Green Lantern : *** Green Lantern Script Recap for Dummies - All Plot Holes Answered ***

For those that seen the film enjoy! But for those that haven't, it shows you why the critics have given this film all the Negative Reviews because of all the messy PLOT HOLES and incoherentness of the movie.

Here's the actual plot of the movie you can follow along too: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_Lantern_(film)#Plot

Credit Topless Robot: http://www.toplessrobot.com/2011/06/topless_robot_presents_the_best_sc enes_from_the_gr.php

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Scene 1 - Ferris Air Base (Control Center)

Blake Lively's Dad: As head of Ferris Air, I want to sell my super-awesome drones to the military. So I'm going have Hal Jordan and my daughter Blake Lively, my own two test pilots, fight them and presumably lose.

Military Guy: Huh? Why would you do that? Why would we be okay with that? You could have just told your pilots to lose on purpose so we buy your drones. If you were even slightly intelligent, you would have definitely done that.

Blake Lively's Dad: Don't worry, gentlemen. Hal Jordan is such an ahole, he will be unable to resist trying to win. I promise.

***********************************

Scene 2 - Ferris Air Base (Blake Lively's Dad's Office); after Hal and Blake return from air drone training

Blake Lively's Dad: Well, Hal, you used my daughter as a decoy and then cheated to defeat the drones.

Blake Lively: Specifically, you used me as a decoy, but didn't actually use that to your benefit, meaning you had me shot down for no reason whatsoever.

Blake Lively's Dad: Now the military is going to refuse the contract, and I'm going to have to fire countless employees. Good men are going to lose their livelihoods because of you.

Blake Lively: And although you're supposedly such an awesome pilot, you had a total freakout for no reason whatsoever and ended up destroying your incredibly expensive plane, too.

Hal Jordan: (shrugs) Oh well. Whatcha gonna do?

Blake Lively's Dad: Christ, what an ahole.

***********************************

Scene 3 - Coast; Abin Sur's spacecraft crashed

Abin Sur: Hal Jordan. The ring has chosen you because you are fearless.

(1 minute earlier - inside an energy ball)
Hal Jordan: I'm afraid of being in this crazy green energy ball!

(10 minutes earlier - during air training)
Hal Jordan: I'm afraid of dying in a test plane like my dad!

(15 minutes after getting the ring - in a bar with Blake)
Hal Jordan: I'm afraid of intimacy!

(25 minutes later - in Oa)
Hal Jordan: I'm afraid of being a Green Lantern!

(30 minutes later - in Hal's apartment)
Hal Jordan: I'm afraid I suck as a Green Lantern!

Blake Lively: You do suck. Hard

***********************************

Scene 4 - Outside a bar

Newly Unemployed Man: Hal Jordan, you needlessly cost us our jobs at Air Ferris, apparently just to be a dick. We are going to beat you up outside this bar.

Hal Jordan: Hyah! (tries to throw punch, ends up throwing giant green fist; men go flying into walls and car windows)

Newly Unemployed Man: Really? The first use of your superpower is going to beat several men who you got fired unconscious?

Hal Jordan: Guess so!

Newly Unemployed Man: Christ, what an ahole. (falls unconscious)

***********************************

Scene 5 - Government Laboratory

Hector Hammond: I am a quiet if awkward Xenobiology 101 teacher that shows no aggression or ill will toward anybody. I hope I don't get infected with an alien parasite that makes my head grow and makes me evil, because at the moment, I'm significantly more sympathetic than Hal Jordan! Now, to dissect this purple alien!

(sticks hand in Abin Sur's wound, immediately gets infected with Parallax)

Hector Hammond: Well, sh**.

***********************************

Scene 6 - Oa; after Hal Jordan flies to Oa where 3,000 other Green Lanterns are gathered by Sinestro

Sinestrop: Lanterns! There is a new evil loose in the universe. It's killed a few Green Lanterns including Abin Sur and two whole planets. It's coming here to Oa. So prepare yourself for battle. It may take our lives but it will never take our freedom!

3,000 Green Lantern Corps: Bravehea we mean Green Lantern Corps! Green Lantern Corps! Hurray for battle cries and making planets glow in the dark with our rings!

(a minute later)

Jeremy Clarke Kilowog: Hal Jordan, now that you've arrived on Oa, let's train for two minutes.

(they train for two minutes; Sinestro arrives)

Sinestro: Hal Jordan, Abin Sur was the greatest Green Lantern ever. You embarrass him by wearing his ring. And even though my name sounds pure evil, and though I also may look like a bad guy with my pencil-thin mustache, the fact is I've been fighting for good in this whole movie so far. And since you've just been a huge douchebag throught the film, I am obviously right about my assessment. The audience even says I'm more likeable than you too, even though the Mom's think I look like an intergalactic pedophile.

Hal Jordan: This Green Lantern sh** is hard. I quit.

Sinestro: What?

Hal Jordan: Yeah, I'm going home. See if I can bang Blake Lively or something.

Sinestro: Seriously? You're chosen to guard part of the universe, and not only are you quitting after two minutes, leaving countless lives in jeopardy, you're not even going to try? How the hell are you the hero of this film?

Hal Jordan: I'm not sure. Sniff you jerks later! (flies off)

Jeremy Clarke Kilowog: Christ, what an ahole.

***********************************

Scene 7 - Oa; Guardian's Circle

Sinestro: Guardians! There is a new evil loose in the universe. It's killed a few Green Lanterns including Abin Sur and two whole planets. It comes from the planet where Abin Sur imprisoned Parallax. Also, survivors say it's really yellow and evil, just like Parallax. Also, it looks like Parallax.

Guardians:

Sinestro: I think it might be Parallax.

Guardians: Okay, we'll get around to that.

Sinestro: Really? You're going to be morally ambiguous here? I know you've been dicks in the comics for years, but this is the very first movie. If you aren't clearly good, it makes the entire Green Lantern concept questionable to people who are learning about Green Lantern for the first time. And frankly, Hal isn't earning us any good will either.

Guardians: Um we have to go do our hair.

Sinestro: Goddammit.

***********************************

Scene 8 - Huge Party at Blake Lively's Dad's Mansion

Blake Lively's Dad: Well, Hal, despite you being a total prick, we got the military contract anyways. You are invited to this big fancy party that I'm throwing with the money I ended up saving after I fired all those people.

Hal Jordan: Awesome. (steals people's drinks even though there's an open bar)

Hector Hammond's Dad: I am going to think mean things about you, son, and then get on a helicopter.

Hector Hammond: I'm going to hear those mean things, because of my new ill-defined powers, and then I'm going to break your helicopter while it's in flight.

(Hector Hammond's Dad gets in helicopter, it takes off, Hector Hammond breaks it with his mind, it crashes at the edge of the party and slides length-wise across a pool of panicking party goers, potentially killing dozens of people)

Blake Lively: Oh no! The helicopter is getting close to me!

Hal Jordan: I have finally decided to help! (puts helicopter on elaborate, ostentatious giant Hot Wheels track instead of just stopping it)

Every Single Other Person at the Party: Christ, what an ahole.

***********************************

Scene 9 - Oa; Guardian's Circle; Sinestro and Guardians part 2

Sinestro: Well, guess *beep* what? It was Parallax. Killed a bunch more Green Lanterns, too. Mind telling me what you know about Parallax now?

Guardians: (sighs) Okay. At one point we thought about fighting evil with the yellow emotion of fear in addition to the green emotion of willpower.

Sinestro: Willpower is not an emotion.

Guardians: Shut up. Anyways, turns out that the yellow power of fear was too powerful and uncontrollable and totally evil, and it even possessed one of the Guardians, who transformed into Parallax. So really, our messing with the yellow power of fear is what caused this entire problem in the first place.

Sinestro: I have an idea: Let's do that exact same thing. And maybe make a yellow power ring or something.

Guardians: That is the BEST. PLAN. EVER.

***********************************

Scene 10 - Hal's apartment; after attacking Hector Hammond in Laboratory

Hal Jordan: I'm seriously afraid of being a Green Lantern.

Blake Lively: Jesus, really? Still? The movie is two-thirds over at this point. Can't you do something heroic?

Hal Jordan: Well, I just fought Hector Hammond. Although he totally kicked my a** and managed to kill his dad while I was there.

Blake Lively: That's not heroic at all. How did you even get away?

Hal Jordan: I don't really know. I kind of put my ring on him and it pushed him across the room. And then the scene just ended.

Blake Lively: You mean, you didn't even follow him or anything?

Hal Jordan: Nope. Actually, the very next scene was Hector waking up in his own cozy bed in his own apartment, so he's not even hiding or anything. Apparently I couldn't care less what he does.

Blake Lively: Ugh. Look, Hal. You're clearly afraid of everything, ever. So obviously what the purple alien dude meant is that you aren't fearless, but that you have the power to overcome fear. Even though he specifically called you fearless and you've given zero evidence that you can actually overcome fear to any degree.

Hal Jordan: Huh? I wasn't listening. Anyways, I'm going to go away for a while and let Hector capture you in your sleep. (flies off)

Blake Lively: Christ, what an ahole.

***********************************

Scene 11 - Hector Hammond's apartment; after getting beat up by Green Lantern

Parallax: HEY, HECTOR.

Hector Hammond: Hey, Parallax.

Parallax: I AM GOING TO THE PLANET OA TO EAT EVERYBODY. WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?

Hector Hammond: Well, you made me evil, so I'm going to *beep* around with Hal Jordan and Blake Lively because of some tenuous connection in our past that the movie only alluded to barely five minutes ago.

Parallax: OKAY, COOL. HEY, HAL JORDAN WEARS THE RING OF THE DUDE WHO IMPRISONED ME, RIGHT? I THINK I'LL COME TO EARTH, EAT HIM AND ALL OF HUMANITY, AND THEN I'LL BE POWERFUL ENOUGH TO GO TO OA AND DEFEAT THE GUARDIANS AND ALL THE GREEN LANTERNS!

Hector Hammond: Um doesn't that mean you aren't powerful enough to defeat the Guardians and Green Lanterns right now?

Parallax: WELL YES.

Hector Hammond: So why were you going to Oa?
(pause)

Parallax: OH SH**! I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN! I WAS ABOUT TO GET MY ASS KICKED!

Hector Hammond: Yeah, you were!

Parallax: I'M SO GLAD I CALLED!

***********************************

Scene 12 - Oa; Guardian's Circle; Hal flies to Oa to speak with the Guardians

Hal Jordan: Guardians! I'm ready to be a hero now! Parallax is heading to Earth! And we don't have much time, because the movie is like 6/7th's over!

Guardians: Okay what do you want?

Hal Jordan: I want you to send all the Green Lanterns to Earth to fight Parallax!

Guardians: (pretending to think) nah.

Hal Jordan: Really?

Guardians: Really.

Hal Jordan: Well, let me fight on Earth's behalf!

Guardians: Huh?

Hal Jordan: I said, let me fight on Ea

Guardians: We know what you said. But did we ever tell you you couldn't fight for Earth?

Hal Jordan: Well no

Guardians: Actually, have we ever told you anything at all in this whole movie? Ever?

Hal Jordan: Um I guess not.

Guardians: Have you even been introduced to us at all in this movie?

Hal Jordan: Hi! I'm Hal Jordan!

Guardians: Have we ever appeared to have given the tiniest sh** about you? Even when you quit the Green Lantern Corps but still took your Power Ring with you?

Hal Jordan: No, not really.

Guardians: So why would you ask us permission to fight for your own planet?

Hal Jordan: Well I guess I needed a plot device for a reason to fight the Parallax solo, rather than look like a tool fighting alongside the other 3,000 Green Lanterns that came by to hear Sinestro's Braveheart speech about an hour ago.

Guardians: Go ahead. Knock yourself out.

Hal Jordan: Oh. I guess I'll be going then. (flies back to Earth)

Guardians: Christ, what an ahole.

***********************************

Scene 13 - Ferris Airbase Hanger; Hector captures a sleeping Blake Lively

Hector Hammond: I have captured Blake Lively!

Hal Jordan: You certainly have. Let her go, and you can have my Green Lantern ring.

Hector Hammond: Bullsh**. Only people who are worthy can wear a Power Ring. I've never read a Green Lantern comic and even I know that.

Hal Jordan: No, it's cool. Seriously. (tosses ring to Hector, Hector puts it on)

Hector Hammond: Holy sh**! (uses ring to blast wall) Uh-oh, the GL fanboys are going to lose their sh** over this.

Hal Jordan: Ha ha! I lied! You have to be chosen to use the ring!

Hector Hammond: Dude. I just used it. You saw me. I clearly don't have to be chosen.

(ring suddenly tases Hector for no discernable reason; Parallax breaks into the building)

Parallax: I SEE THAT GREEN LANTERN! HE'S STILL ALIVE! HECTOR HAMMOND, YOU HAVE FAILED ME! I EAT YOU NOW! OM-NOM-NOM-NOM.

(Parallax eats Hector's soul, drops body to the floor, which is still wearing the Power Ring)

Hal Jordan: Hey.

Parallax: HEY. SO YOU GOING TO SUMMON YOUR RING TO YOU AND FIGHT ME OR SOMETHING?

Hal Jordan: Apparently I can't do that. I have to walk over there and pick it up.

Parallax: REALLY? THAT'S BULLSH**. OH WELL, YOU TAKE YOUR TIME TO GET YOUR RING AND TALK TO BLAKE LIVELY, AND FEEL FREE TO TAKE THE TIME YOU NEED TO COLLECT YOURSELF. I'LL JUST LEAVE AND EAT SOME PEOPLE IN THE CITY OR SOMETHING.

Hal Jordan: Thanks, dude!

Hector Hammond's Corpse: Christ, what an ahole.

***********************************

Scene 14 - Outer Space; after Hal uses a propeller to blow past Parallax into space

Hal Jordan: Parallax!

Parallax: VAN WILDER!

Hal Jordan: It is the final battle! I am one lone, incredibly sh*ty Green Lantern!

Parallax: SPEAKING OF SH*T, WHERE ARE YOUR OTHER 3,000 FRIENDS?

Hal Jordan: Oh, I used a plot device earlier to have them all scrapped. We couldn't afford to go over our $150 million budget. (oops!)

Parallax: WELL IN THAT CASE I AM PARALLAX! THE ULTIMATE EVIL IN THE UNIVERSE WHO CAN DESTROY WHOLE PLANETS AND HORDES OF GREEN LANTERNS WITH THE EXCEPTION OF ABIN SUR!

Hal Jordan: Yes! But when you were chasing me, I flew really close to the sun, and now you're being sucked into its gravitational pull!
(pause)

Parallax: OH, SH**.

Hal Jordan: Yep!

Parallax: GOD, THIS IS EMBARRASSING. IT'S THE GALACTIC EQUIVALENT OF NOT LOOKING BOTH WAYS BEFORE CROSSING THE STREET.

Hal Jordan: Seriously. I can't believe all the Green Lanterns had such a tough time with you, because you are one stupid *beep*

Parallax: HOW THE HELL DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN? WEREN'T WE JUST PASSING BY THE ASTEROID BELTS BETWEEN MARS AND JUPITER ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SOLAR SYSTEM? HOW DID WE GET TO THE SUN?

Hal Jordan: I dunno. Who pays attention to these details anyway? Not the audience.

Parallax: SERIOUSLY, IT'S LIKE A LOONEY TUNES CARTOON, WHERE WILE E. COYOTE MAKES A PIT AND COVERS IT WITH STICKS OR SOME SH** THEN FALLS OFF A PIT. I CAN'T BELIEVE I EVEN FELL FOR IT.

Hal Jordan: You know what the best part is? Even though you were defeated by your own stupidity, we're all going to pretend that this fulfills my heroic journey and all the Green Lanterns will like me now! Even Sinestro!

Parallax: *beep* REALLY?

Hal Jordan: Yep!

Parallax: CHRIST, WHAAT AN AAAAAASSSSHHHHOOOOOLLLLL (gets sucked into the sun and burns up)

***********************************

Scene 15 - Oa; after the credits roll

Sinestro: I have been significantly more heroic than Hal Jordan this entire film. I tried to protect the universe. I actually fought Parallax instead of just tricking him into flying into the sun. I called Hal Jordan a douche, but only while he was totally being a douche. I only wanted the clearly evil Yellow Power Ring to fight the evil of Parallax and save lives. And just a minute ago, I talked about how awesome Hal was in front of the whole Green Lantern Corps for the film's final scene.

Sinestro: (continues) I have been a good guy for the entirety of the movie while Hal's only been a hero for maybe 10%, 15% tops.

(roll credits)

Sinestro: I'm not putting on the Yellow Power Ring.

Hal Jordan: Oh yes you are.

Sinestro: No I'm not. I have no motivation to do it. Parallax is dead, albeit in a very stupid way. I've been a good guy the entire film. It's totally against my character as established throughout the movie.

Hal Jordan: Sorry, you're the bad guy in the sequel.

Sinestro: There's not going to be a sequel! This movie sucked! It doesn't even look like we're going to break even!

Hal Jordan: Maybe, but you still gotta put it on. Just in case.

Sinestro: Goddammit. (puts on Yellow Power Ring, his outfit transforms into his Sinestro Corps uniform)

Hal Jordan: Thanks, dude! Sniff you later! (flies off)

Sinestro: Christ, what an ahole.

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I guess all the plot holes were never answered, oops!

Wow! Well done! This was actually a very accurate recap of the entire film with all the plot holes exposed. Love it! May I borrow this material please?

Brilliant.


SUPER 8 - 9/10
Green Lantern- 3/10

Oh good, you know how to write. How about you write the sequel, or even the reboot? No? Then how about reading a Green Lantern comic next time before criticizing the movie.


This is my sig. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

Lighten up!

It's actually an exact recap of the Green Lantern movie but with using common sense!

"Oh good, you know how to write. How about you write the sequel, or even the reboot? No? Then how about reading a Green Lantern comic next time before criticizing the movie."

Translation;

I don't care about ridiculous plot holes, I'll make excuses for anything if I like its comic book.

Dude, the comic and the movie are two different things the comic book is well-thought-out while this movie is more of a mess than Spider-Man 3 and Transformers 2. It's a jumbled mess of absolute nonsense.

The OP's post was spot on. It would be nitpicky if it was one or two thing but every single scene was just insanely stupid, used no logic.

There are only plotholes if you choose to find them. Honestly, the answers are all there. The story fills up any plotholes you think are real.

No it doesn't, not even close. The OP is spot on. Answer the ones he brought up. You or I could answer them, probably, but the movie sure doesn't.

I have a similar thread, ya know, things like Sinestro only taking like six Lanterns to fight the most devastating thing in the universe. Six, Sinestro, really? That's all you think that are needed? He felt it was important for everyone to get together for a speech about it but only six to go fight it.

See? Just basic logic that this film never followed. Too bad too, could have been a great film.

Sinestro thought the Power of Will was the strongest force in the galaxy. He was fearless. He underestimated the Yellow Power. At that point in the movie, the Guardians did not divulge any information on Parallax. Plus, Abin Sur defeated Parallax long ago so Sinestro, who was trained under Abin Sur, thought he could deal with it and especially by bringing six other Green Lanterns.

I'd counter that by saying, Sinestro says Abin Sur is best of ALL the Lanterns, better than himself, better than 3,600 of them and Parallax now grew strong enough to beat him. Why risk it? Sinestro is now the smartest Lantern there is he knows that he's not good enough to beat the Parallax, he knows who the best, most "fear"less fighters he has are. So, six? And six of the worst? Sorry, it just doesn't make the slightest bit of sense. He'd take an army, no less than 100.

Also, to start another side point I know in the comic, Sinestro is different, more selfish and destined to be over to the 'dark side' but in the film, he was nothing but heroic and a true leader. Yet, in the end, he decides to first create a yellow ring to take the coward's route (after chastising Hal for giving into fear, he now wants to use fear?), never mind that he knows exactly what happens when people touch the 'yellow fear' he's heard that one of the most fearless Guardians couldn't stand up to it yet, he decides to try the ring on when there's not even a battle to run into? He's just like, "Eh, movies over let's randomly try this on?" It goes 100% against everything we learned about Sinestro in the film.

The Green Lanterns, up to that point, were the strongest entities in the universe. Why would Sinestro be afraid of Parallax? He had nothing to fear and even the Guardians didn't reveal Parallax's true identity. Sinestro didn't know what to expect. Abin Sur defeated Parallax so he thought he could handle Parallax with some additional backup.

Sinestro was very manipulative. The whole time he wanted to prove himself by defeating Parallax. He even called a meeting with the Guardians and that was done very seldom. He also was a total jerk to Hal.

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Sinestro says Abin Sur is best of ALL the Lanterns, better than himself, better than 3,600 of them and Parallax now grew strong enough to beat him. Why risk it? Sinestro is now the smartest Lantern there is he knows that he's not good enough to beat the Parallax, he knows who the best, most "fear"less fighters he has are. So, six? And six of the worst? Sorry, it just doesn't make the slightest bit of sense. He'd take an army, no less than 100.

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Heck, didn't Sinestro say to the Guardians that Parallax was coming to destroy Oa? So if the entire planet's demise was just around the corner, why wouldn't they send everyone? Sending 6 was just poor writinga feeble effort to try and build up to a more climactic battle with Parallax. Which never came. Parallax being an ex-Guardian wasn't smart enough to account for the Sun's gravity when chasing Hal? Sheesh!

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he's heard that one of the most fearless Guardians couldn't stand up to it yet, he decides to try the ring on

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I was disappointed earlier on when he first suggested making the yellow ring. One of the Guardians failed miserably trying but he suggests doing it again? Only for him to be the one to try this time? Puh-lease!!!


And props to the OP for this thread. Very funny and accurate.

Trying is the first step towards failure

Green Lanterns are the most powerful guys in the universe. There is one per "sector" of the universe, so approx one per galaxy. To look after EVERYTHING. Bringing six of these bada## dudes with you is no slouch. It's like bringing six Supermans. They *should* be able to handle anything alone, so six is overkill.

OP, that's a hilarious post regardless! Just wanted to clear that up.
_______

I actually loved the movie and would totally see it again but I laughed pretty hard at this thread it was hilarious.

The timing is off. wasn't it after Sinestro and his group failed at taking down Parallax that he mentioned Parallax is coming to Oa?

Also, if Paralleax was that powerful, it wouldn't have made a difference sending more GL. It's like sending 100 storm troopers to take out a Jedi knight instead of just 6. Those numbers won't mean anything extra.

And to the comment about Abin Sur being the greatest GL, it's not unreasonable to think that if Sinestro was that good, he probably surpassed his mentor at some point like all good students would.

ORANGE for all

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_____

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Also, if Paralleax was that powerful, it wouldn't have made a difference sending more GL. It's like sending 100 storm troopers to take out a Jedi knight instead of just 6. Those numbers won't mean anything extra.

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Actually I don't think you are right. 100 storm troopers is a significant force and I think that even Darth Vader will not be able to handle 100. If he takes them by surpise or uses some aicrafts or devices maybe yes, but in open 1 to 100 battle it would be impossible.

Someone has a LOT of free time

Someone has a LOT of free time

I just watched the move, but not all the credits, so I missed Sinestro going yellow. In the animted film 'First Flight" there was at least some kind of story for Sinestro going yellow, in that he had already succumbed to using Fear to sort things out before even thinking of going yellow.

Why is it the animated filems are better plotted? And have more credible actors? Is it simply the animated film can do whatever it likes but the real life film has to stick to a budget which includes writing, use of lot devices to save screen time and so on?

Why is it the animated filems are better plotted? And have more credible actors?

I once heard Jon Favreau in an interview say that action movies were plotted around the sequence of action scenes and then the story written afterward, and that the executives would accept no other way. At first I thought that he was speaking with tongue firmly planted in cheek, but when I reflected on it, I thought that that would explain a lot.

So, one theory is that live-action movies were worse written and with less credible actors because of the crazy processes by which movies get made (which may be that they are "plotted" around action scenes, and are cast with actors who are "hot" and "hot box office" but not necessarily good actors or well suited to the particular role. And, unfortunately, there are a lot of people who want to see only a certain side of an actor for example, while I think that Eddie Murphy does a good job with real emotions as well as with his SNL shtick, much of the movie-going audience vocally prefers to see him only in roles like Doctor Doolittle &etc.)

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I once heard Jon Favreau in an interview say that action movies were plotted around the sequence of action scenes and then the story written afterward, and that the executives would accept no other way.

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Given the way the budget is divided up, that makes perfect sense. Your big costs are special effects, sets (sometimes), cast (basically fixed, so changing the script doesn't affect that too much), and editing-type stuff. Writing is a tiny percent of a $200 million film, so the things that can blow up on you are the things you're spending a lot on in action scenes. Get those set, you've got your budget set (until the reef you've built your massive set on sinks and Costner insists you digitally add hair to cover his bald spot)

'.things like Sinestro only taking, like, six Lanterns to fight the most devestating thing in the universe. Six, Sinestro, really? That's all you think that are needed? He felt it was important for everyone to get together for a speech about it, but only six to go fight it.'

Director/writer making decisions that are baffling.

"You know, my name"

Heh.

Loved the snark.

all the nonsensical writing is what i expect from a Warner Bros. super hero film however.

I'm still trying to figure out what Catwoman's motivation for vandalizing the department store and fighting Batman was in 'Batman Returns'.

She vandalized the department store because it was Max Schrecks, the guy who pushed her out a window moments earlier

Genius. Well done sir.

And to the guy telling you to read a comic, have a word with yourself mate. I've been reading Green Lantern for years and found this hilarious!

WAR. Teaching Americans geography since 1775

I thought it was too long and was going to skim it but it's worth every word, lol hilarious and spot on;

"Hal Jordan, now that you've arrived on Oa, let's train for two minutes."

LOL!!!!

The best thing about films like Iron Man and Spider-Man were that you could see them really getting to know and loving their powers. This one? Eh, waste of time.

"Hal Jordan, now that you've arrived on Oa, let's train for two minutes."

The talking to Tomar, flying through Oa, listening to Sinestro, Using the ring with Tomar, Kilowog's training, Sinestro's training. Oh yeah, that's really two minutes. Besides, let's say Hal was down for full training which in the comics lasted a couple days to a few weeks. By the time Hal is done:

Kilowog: Congrats Poozer, your now a full fledged green lantern.
Hal: So let's go stop that monster on Earth.
Sinestro: Sorry human, but Earth was consumed by Parallax.

Besides, I thought the training was fine. Maybe well get some deleted scenes. More training wasn't necessary due to Parallax consuming Earth and because it took the support of the side characters to help the main character realize his potential & over all learn his lesson which obviously was to overcome his fear.

"Iron Man and Spider-Man were that you could see them really getting to know and loving their powers. This one? Eh, waste of time."

Your writing it off because he doesn't love the abilities he gets to use? A green lantern's ring isn't a toy like Iron Man's suit or Spider-Man's web shooters. It's how a cop would use police related weapons; to protect & serve. Did they really need some stupid scene where he's helping some woman get back her purse from a mugger? No. He's got much more important things to do like save hundreds from a helicopter & save millions from a monster who feeds on fear. I've seen some bad reasons to dislike this movie, but wow, this one's pretty high up there.

A) Parallax wasn't even going to Earth at that point
B) Even if he was, the writers write the timeline. You need more training time? Make it take him longer to get there. You're just adding plot holes to cover up others.

This is very good.Im a fan of the movie by the way.

Thank you for this link. It's so funny and perfectly shows why Green Lantern is such a mess of a movie.

Genius!

This post is spot on. SPOT ON. I kept thinking what exactly went wrong in the movie and noticed these holes pretty clearly while watching it, but seeing all of them in their entirety shows how awful this movie really was. The part about Hal asking the guardians to let him fight paralex on earth was hilarious and genius because I remember thinking the exact same thing. I was like, "Did they ever say he couldn't fight paralex on earth by himself? Did they ever tell him he couldn't?" hahahaha

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This post is spot on. SPOT ON. I kept thinking what exactly went wrong in the movie and noticed these holes pretty clearly while watching it, but seeing all of them in their entirety shows how awful this movie really was.

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Exactly right. I'm glad they did it with humor though.

The OP is further proof trolls have NO lives.

Spend all that time writing fake dialogue just to make fun of a movie?

GROW UP you childish troll.

Yeah whatever you say dean. Momma's little troll.

I have already forwarded this to a bazillion people. Hysterical.

They seem to have forgotten how the final battle went down. Parallax didn't wait for Hal to get his ring. He tried to kill Hal, and Carol shot Parallax to save Hal. I believe she even got the ring for him at that point but can't quite remember. And if I recall correctly, Hal dragged Parallax towards the sun and punched him towards it, he didn't just make Parallax fly there on his own.

Colonel Miles Quaritch is like some sort ofnongiving-uparmy guy!

If memory serves me correct, Carol shoots Parallax with a missile, which causes it to drop Hal. Then, Parallax decides to go outside into the city. Hal picks up the ring and then heads to follow Parallax. So I don't know why Parallax decided to turn on the city just after a missile blow. He could've gone after Hal again. Weak.

And Hal didn't drag Parallax into the sun. He "blew" him with a propeller launching Parallax into outer space. Then Parallax decides to chase Hal. He then sees the sun which he mutters one of his most stupidest line "The Bigger they are, the Faster they Burn!" So he flies closer to the sun with Parallax on his tail. Then Hal constructs jets to pull him back, while Parallax gets dragged by the gravitational pull. As Parallax is getting sucked in by the sun, Hal finishes it off with a boxing glove punch.

It was a lame fight scene nonetheless. In fact, this trailer right here: is basically half or a third of the final battle. Pretty lame.

This is so perfect! Thank you. That sums it up. lol!

This is a masterpiece and another example for the theory that bad movies at least generate some funny reviews.

Last seen movies:
Never Let Me Go 8/10
Essential Killing 8/10
Battle: Los Angeles 2/10

I is green with envy, no hang on, I am what colour?
Touche on will not being an emotion, major plot hole of the entire saga.
Bring on the Magenta Babes.

Wow! This script recap for dummies is pure genius.

bump

Kind of amusing but full of fail, none of those are plot holes. Don't get me wrong, some of those scenes were cheesy and cliche but that's in no way a plot hole.

WEREWOLF
"I don't know you had him last" -Tom Servo

While not plot holes it's hard to call what we saw in this movie a plot at all.