Star Wars: The Force Awakens : If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

I present to you the ANH "Mary Sue/Marty Stu" rewrite. For the writer who thinks Luke is too human and relatable and should've been as perfect, plastic and flawless as Rey. Because boys need role models who are superior to themselves in every way.

*Luke is an expert survivalist living on his own in Tatooine. He isn't subservient to Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. He loyally waits for a lost companion to return.

*Luke steals R2-D2 from a Tusken Raider on a Bantha who has captured R2-D2. The Tusken just watches and rides away.

*Luke can understand everything R2-D2 says. C-3PO is written out since he's not needed to translate.

*R2-D2 follows Luke around obediently instead of running away and generally just thinks Luke's awesome.

*Luke meets Obi-Wan and tells him he's just a nobody and didn't even know the Force was real. Obi-Wan hands Luke his father's saber and then disappears from the movie. No training required.

*Luke experiences a "vision" upon touching the saber for unexplained reasons. Magic lightsaber?

*Luke enters the Cantina and knocks down Ponda Baba and Dr. Evazan with a stick when they threaten him.

*Luke finds the Falcon with only Chewie inside as TIE Fighters start bombing the area. He jumps in and flies it with some wild maneuvers through Beggar's Canyon while Chewie works the gun port. They destroy the TIEs and return to get Han.

*Chewie is injured while running from Stormtroopers to get to the Falcon and Luke takes over as co-pilot.

*Luke fixes the Falcon's malfunctions by himself before Han can figure out what to do.

*Han is so impressed with Luke that by the time they get to the remains of Alderaan, he offers Luke a permanent job.

*They sneak into the back door of the Death Star unnoticed and somehow instantly find Leia's cell.

*Luke uses the Jedi Mind Trick on the guards at Leia's cell to get inside. (First time the Jedi Mind Trick appears in the movie.)

*Leia says Luke is amazing, thanks him and won't stop talking about wanting to run away with him and devote herself to helping him. Luke is not interested and says he just wants to be friends.

*Han somehow instantly finds the head Stormtrooper Commander and says he'll kill him if he doesn't shut down the tractor beam. The Stormtrooper Commander complies and they throw him in the trash compactor.

*Darth Vader finds the heroes. Luke watches as Han Solo confronts Darth Vader and is killed.

*Luke attacks Darth Vader and holds his own. He drops his saber but he is able to Force grab it before Vader can. (First time Force grab is seen in the movie.) Vader offers to train Luke. Luke lands several blows on Vader and cuts off his hand while remaining unscathed and Vader collapses in a heap. But there is an explosion that ruptures the platform between them and Luke must join Leia, Chewie and R2 back on the Falcon.

*Meanwhile, Wedge leads a small squad to do a bombing run on the Death Star. He easily hits the target without facing much resistance or even thinking about it much and the Death Star blows up.

*Luke officially joins the Rebellion at the end of the movie and is instantly selected to pilot a ship on a vital mission they've been waiting years to do. Their best pilot who just blew up the Death Star, Wedge, is passed over.

And there you have it. Star Wars: A New Hope as bland, generic, shallow, Saturday morning cartoon space opera, without depth, meaning, humanity, heart or soul, a.k.a. Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

I'm thinking we'll cast Arnold Schwarzenegger as Luke and Chris Tucker as Han Solo.

*PERMANENT LINKS:

Retweet:
https://twitter.com/JediJones77/status/682269672000086023

Wordpress link:
https://jedijones77.wordpress.com/2015/12/30/if-luke-was-rey-a-k-a-the-star-wars-a-new-hope-mary-sue-rewrite/

Colonel Miles Quaritch is like some sort of...non...giving-up...army guy!

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)




How does it feel to be deconstructed?

Almost perfect, ending needs a fix:


I'm thinking we'll cast Arnold Schwarzenegger as Luke and Chris Tucker as Han Solo.



*I'm thinking we'll cast trans-man Alex Bertie as Luke and Tay Zonday as Han Solo.

They have great chemistry and would make a hot couple on screen when things heat-up in Ep 5.

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

This is the new go-to link whenever anyone says "Luke was a Mary Sue."

Colonel Miles Quaritch is like some sort of...non...giving-up...army guy!

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Luke was a Mary Sue! Point in fact he meets every criteria.

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

"Go wait on a planet and stare at things."

"STFU Jar Jar!"

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

bump

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH 'Mary Sue' Rewrite)

Bumpity bump

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

This thread needs to be bumped into eternity.

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Save a copy of this post, the fanboys are probably spam reporting it as we read.

Grant discovered raptor eggs in Jurassic Park

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Already copy pasted mine into an email to me

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

😁

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

I think this is one of the greatest thing I have ever read.

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Excellent post!!

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

dang it
Han Solo STILL dies!!!!!! 😭

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

It would be improper to let any hero live who might compete with the Mary Sue's efforts to totally dominate the storyline and be better at everything than everyone else.

Colonel Miles Quaritch is like some sort of...non...giving-up...army guy!

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Han Solo: "You've got a lot to learn."
Rey, five minutes later: *Kills a bunch of Stormtroopers with a blaster for the first time*

(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

.

---
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing .

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

The Fork Awakens.

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It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing .

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

that pissed me off sooooo much! we have an army of storm troopers who have been trained since they were children shooting and missing every damn shot and on the other side is rey who was just given a blaster for the first time and is destroying them?! WTF?!

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

This is really SAD but TRUE,..... 😥😨

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)


I present to you the ANH "Mary Sue/Marty Stu" rewrite.


Well this should get feminist undies up in a bundle. lol

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

I'm a feminist and I completely agree with the post. No, correction, I don't think Poe should have gone on the mission to find Luke, but Leia and Chewie. But other than that, agree completely.

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

The fact that you keep starting all of your posts with "I'm a feminist" makes me think you're NOT a feminist.

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

I think I said it twice. It was just to clarify, since "liking Rey" seems to be the new conditio sine qua non for feminism, a notion as fallacious as your argument. I'm a school teacher, BTW. I am a school teacher. I am a school teacher. Are you now going to say this is proof that I am not a school teacher?

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Everyone lies on the internet so saying you're a schoolteacher proves that you probably aren't.

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Good post.

I am a legend in my spare time

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

bump


He took my kidneys, Raylan, not my dick!

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

I changed it so Wedge blows up the Death Star. It parallels better with TFA now and underlines the fact that Luke gets to fly the super priority mission at the end of the movie despite their best pilot Wedge just blowing up the Death Star and being available.

Colonel Miles Quaritch is like some sort of...non...giving-up...army guy!

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Good fit

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

The only change is that Luke needs some familiarity with the Falcon prior to getting in it. Like, maybe he used to repair freighters so that's why he knows how it malfunctions. He also can't be too good of a pilot, he needs to scrape the ground several times and take a few shots from the tie fighters.

Also, we need Vader to force grab a guy before Luke force grabs the lightsaber.

And Vader needs to tell Luke to use the force during their fight so that Luke can defeat him, also Vader should be a partially trained student who is injured.

We also need Luke to have a mysterious past so people can theorize about how he got so good at using the force, without any on screen training.

You also need something about how, the leader of the Rebels sends Luke, who only recently joined them, to meet the most important figure of the Rebel Alliance that has been missing for years.


---
You'll never get what you want if you don't know what it is.

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

That last part was already in there.

Luke's past is mysterious. There's nothing in the movie to suggest Rey had Jedi training in her past. You can assume that, but you'd HAVE to assume that. The movie says nothing about it.

Vader was injured worse than Kylo Ren ever was on Mustafar.

The details about Vader are unnecessary. Both him and Kylo are the "big bads" of the movies and the symbolism is clear. When the hero defeats the "big bad" without much effort, you're in Mary Sue territory.

Added a ref. to Beggar's Canyon.

Colonel Miles Quaritch is like some sort of...non...giving-up...army guy!

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

It took a lot of effort to for Rey to beat Kylo. He was both physically drained from being shot and cut by Finn, and emotionally drained by killing Han. Nevertheless, when Rey fights Kylo, she is fleeing the whole time. The only thing is, Kylo isn't trying to kill her, otherwise she would have been down like Finn within a short amount of time. Kylo bested her, and he, in a moment relecting his explicitly stated incomplete training, asks her to join him. She uses the moment to use the Force with a lot of effort to finally bring him down. He gets back up, and would have beat her, but by that point, Starkiller was blowing up, so she managed to escape. Not only that, but Rey wasn't even handling the lightsaber well. Kylo was clearly a far superior fighter, but Rey had the advantage of not being injured, having immense will power, and a crap ton of luck. Otherwise, she would have been dead. Will power and luck are what got her through the situations she was placed in in the movie. I honestly don't understand why she is a Mary Sue to so many people. I didn't see her as overpowered at all. That final battle alone proves that she isn't a Mary Sue. On top of that, she isn't well liked quickly by everybody she meets, she has major flaws in that she wants to hopelessly wait for her family to return to Jakku to get her, she doesn't have any proper training in the force and was only able to use it after a lot of effort, and, the main thing, she isn't perfect at all.

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

These dumbasses have no clue what a Mary Sue is and just want to troll the movie for people that enjoyed it. Was she a Mary Sue when she screwed up the fuse box on Han's freighter and released the monsters?

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)


These dumbasses have no clue what a Mary Sue is and just want to troll the movie for people that enjoyed it. Was she a Mary Sue when she screwed up the fuse box on Han's freighter and released the monsters?

That saved everyone's lives you moron.
So yes, that was another Mary Sue act
and it was used to make Finn damseled yet again and saved by her

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

You are nothing but a trolling *beep* You've been doing it since the release and you actually think Episode 1 is better than this movie. Your opinion is completely and utterly invalid.

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

I know right. I don't understand the hate for this movie, especially Rey.

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Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Bump.


Luke flies T-16s and it's established he's not such a bad pilot. Plus he inherited some piloting skill from his father, the best star pilot in the galaxy.


Rey uses a quarterstaff and its established she pretty good at combat. Plus, her time spent living on her own justifies her combat skills.



Can Jawas not defend their own droids? Of course they can, with guns. If you're on a giant animal, you can direct the animal to chase a human being.


1- first if all, thanks for admitting you lied about Rey going up against a Tusken Raider.
2- she didnt go up against a Jawa. She want up against a jawa-like creature that was the same size.
3- the creature did not have a gun. He had a staff.
4- even if it was a Jawa gun, Jawa guns are used to incapacitate droids and machinery.


Luke interacted with droids ALL THE TIME on his farm, yet couldn't talk to them. That kind of silly crap only happens in nonsense, kiddie sci-fi.


Really?
Describe all the droids that were on Lukes farm before he got R2 ans 3po.
It seems to me the only droid they had was a treadwell droid and im not even sure that made it to the final cut of the film.


established that Rey, like Luke, said she didn't know about the Force. That begs the question of how she learns the Force powers out of nowhere, unlike Luke, who trained.


Rey never said she didnt know about the force.
As a matter of fact she clearly made it known that she knew about Jedi knoghts and seemed to be a fan of Luke's.
Seeing that she knows about jedi its only common sense that she would know about the jedi mind trick.
Luke, on the other hand, is the one who was clueless about the force when Obi Wan mentioned it.
He had to explain it to him and had to explain who the jedi knights were.


Luke was saved from being shot down by several other pilots including Han. He also wasn't picked to lead the Death Star assault.


Watch the film again, pal.
Vader targets all the other SUPERIOR pilots within 3 seconds, and takes them out with his first burst of shots.
It takes Vader about a minute to target luke the first time and when he fires he hits R2.
The second, and final time, he targets luke it also takes about a minute and then he fires and missed BEFORE Han Solo fires.
Luke takes his shot right after that.
So, Luke, who had about 5 minutes of training with 5 lines of advice from Obi Wan was able to outmaneuver a Sith lord who has 40 years of force experience over Luke, and was ALSO considered the "best Star pilot in the galaxy".




Other SUPORIOR pilots were and attempted firing into the exhaust port before him.


So, out of the 30 SUPERIOR pilots Luke was one of the 3 that survived and he was the one that destroyed the deathstar.
Mary Sue anyone?
Thanks for making that so easy.



If objects magically call to you that have no effect on anyone else, you might be a Mary Sue


Well, I guess Lukes a Mary Sue since that cave on Dagobah called to him.
Btw, wheres this particular rule in the Mary Sue handbook?



Did the aliens Rey knocked down not also have to scavenge and defend themselves their whole lives? Why is she powerful enough to take out two of them with a stick?




Who said they were scanvengers?
Who said they had to defend themselves their whole lives?
Was it mentioned in the film that those two guys were scavengers who grew up with no parents or guardians to protect them?



Almost" crashing doesn't count.


According to who? You? Lol


If you almost crash a ship and then are sent to pilot it later that day on the most important mission in years for the Resistance even when they have experienced pilots like Poe, you might be a Mary Sue.


If you're bouncing a ship all over the place its a clear sign youre having issues controlling it.
If you saw someone driving down the street hitting street signs and knocking over garbage cans are you going to call them a Mary Sue?
As for the mission, the rebellion had no trouble sending a farmer on the most important mission in ANH.



Han gave Luke a lot of hell until he actually got to know him and see he could fight. Characters are supposed to become friendly as the movie wraps up, not instantly at the beginning when they first meet.


"Instantly"?
seems to me Han wasnt very fond of either of them when he found them on the Falcon and threatened to dump them off somewhere.


"Layout" didn't help them find Phasma or especially Rey. It was sheer magic that they ended up in the same location on a space station 10 times the size of the DS


Maybe you should pay attention to the movie, hammer-head.
Starkiller wasnt a space station. It was a planet with the weapon built into it.
The entire planet was not a base. The control center was a building on the planet and the control center was much smaller than the deathstar. Finn knew the loaction of the building.

Were you too stupid to notice there was snow, trees, mountains, cliffs and an atmosphere?
Did that not tip you off that it was a planet and not a space station?
I thought you haters were supposed to be so smart?


uke had 3 years to study the Force before he pulled out the saber. And we don't know what Obi-Wan's spirit told him during that time. It's implied Luke pushed the torpedoes into the DS with the Force, so that is moving objects.


Thats right, we dontt know what Ben taught him or if ben even spoke to him until the Wampa incident. As such, you cannot use that as justfication because its just conjecture.
What we do know is that ben appeared after the wampa incident and then told Luke to get training from Yoda.
Why would ben train Luke as a ghost for 3 years and then send him to Yoda?
It Ben was training him as a ghost why didnt he just finish the training himself?

As for Luke using the force to push the torpedos into the deathstar, thats just a fan theory...but if you insist on using that theory then it makes Luke even more of a Mary Sue at the end of ANH.


You clearly don't understand what a Mary Sue is. When every other character loves you instantly, you're a Mary Sue


And you clearly have ADD Since you cant even understand the movie.
Rey didnt fight a tusken Raider, Starkiller base was a planet with a weapon not a space station, bouncing a ship all over the place is not a sign of perfection, Luke didnt have a fleet of droids on his farm, Luke was the only one clueless about the force, etc...at least now we know who the true star wars fans are.

As for Mary Sue, i know exactly what it is...its a meaningless trope invented by some trekkie nobody some 40 years ago that was unearhted about a month ago and adopted by desperate idiotic haters who didnt even know what it was until flop writer, Max Landis, brought it up.



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Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

couldnt make it more than 3 of your points..had to stop reading as I was becoming dumber.

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Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

The biggest counterargument to your points is that Kylo blasts her with the force against a tree knocking her out. Yes he was badly injured but if he were as badly injured as many people on these boards are describing, showing that he's still able to use the force that powerfully sure doesn't support them. This is further emphasized in the beginning when he's abe to stop that laser beam in mid-air.

As for Rey being blasted away like that, given the distance and the impact, there would've been the high risk of haemorrhage or at least, no human being would be able to get back up and fight the way she did. That she endures no cuts or scratches or wounds whatsoever (unlike all the other male characters is further evidence of a gender bias. Being the only female fighter in the film she emerges 'pure' and unscathed' as opposed to all the other male characters. If this film were made back in the 70s r 80s, Rey would have been injured or bruised or the least bit traumatized in some way.

Furthermore, you are right to say that she is fleeing, but you are wrong to say that she is fleeing the whole time. As soon as she 'lets the force guide her' however, you can very noticeably see a huge change. Yes, her atack moves are wild and messy, but the degree to which she effectively uses a lightsaber under the given circumstances with no training whatsoever and in such a short period of time (compared to ANH which in terms of pacing took place over longer stretches) stretches believability much more than anything we seen in the previous 6 movies. I'm not a fan, but I can vouch that it's subtle details like these that affect the overall viewing experience and human believability.

I think it's inevitable that some people will accuse this film of PC and excessive feminism pandering. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed it overall but films are always judged in the socio-political context in which they are made. With ANH, it was in the context of the Vietnam War. With this film, considering the fims dependence on Rey's ability to make everything directly or indirectly, intentionally or unintentionally work in her advantage, as well as the way all the characters like her so quickly, is it really that surprising that people will accuse her of being a Mary Sue?

I'm not here to argue that Rey is indeed a Mary Sue, but to point out that this film was written in a different time, catering to an audience brought up on television and movies glorifying very different social and political values. These criticisms may not be entierly fair, but they aren't unwarranted either. It's more than likely that the people whom are criticising her for being a Mary Sue are the ones that are especially aware of these differences and how they are reflected in the bulk of Hollywood movies today, or that these critics are simply aware of the differences in filmmaking between the OT and this new installment, and why sometimes it's the subtler things about the OT that made Luke's gradual rise much more humanely believable than Rey's. I hope this shed some light.

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Your counterpoint to my argument was one I noticed upon my third viewing of the film (I couldn't believe I'd missed something so obvious), and I agree with that point. My main argument in the previous post was just to bring a counterpoint to the idea of her being a Mary Sue and the idea that she is perfect in every way. After three viewings, I think it's pretty obvious she isn't, and that post still stands in bringing an argument against the notion of Rey being a Mary Sue. I still use that argument despite the counterpoint since I think it's still a fair argument against those who describe Rey as a Mary Sue.

The point you brought up about the subtleties is actually one of my gripes with the film. It just had to pack a lot into one movie, and they ended up accidentally rushing Rey's development of using the Force, although they paced her overcoming her inhibitions very well. This was the second most annoying thing I felt behind the easy destruction of Starkiller Base and its charging mechanism by draining a Sun (it should not have been destroyed and should have remained in the next two films).

Your point about the social and political context of a film is dead on as well. I think it's just common, especially in an extremely politically and socially polarized society like ours now, to view everything in that type of lens (though that's not to say that this is new; it's most definitely a trend for years; I've felt that trend has increased in current times). Movies are meant to be escapades for an audience, be it fantasy or realistic fiction. The type of political and social analysis should be ideally reserved for movies that are intended to have some sort of political or social message to it, and even those films, to an extent, are escpades for an audience. But, as evidenced by the hate aimed at a movie like Mad Max: Fury Road or this based on that context, that's not gonna happen any time soon.

Also, this is IMDB, and there are many trolls here, so it's not really that surprising to see a film that a majority of an audience likes get huge amounts of unnecessary hate here.

I feel that if the writers just had Rey as a Jedi who was under Luke's training and survived Kylo Ren's massacre and went into hiding on Jakku, it would have erased a lot of the hate the film received, and the story could have focused more on Rey overcoming her inhibitions as well.

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH 'Mary Sue' Rewrite)

UGH I KNOW RIGHT! How dumb was it for them to give Rey a mysterious past! Totally not fair! That's so sexist Rey is such a Mary Sue.

Idiot

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

This is gold.

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Rey suffers from the indignities of being an uber-nerd and can come across as pushy, arrogant and self-satisfied. Luckily, Han seemed to know this and was not going to be trampled by Rey in her frantic quest to get somewhere.
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