The Walking Dead : Your anal etiquette

Your anal etiquette

Is it improper to fart loudly when using public restrooms? if someone else farts, do you say "God bless you" or "Get outta here, you filthy windbag!"


Do you line the toilet lid with toilet paper, on the (unproven) assumption that not doing so will give you a fatal or at least a very unpleasant disease (probably with a Latin name that means "caused by someone else's shit on the underside of your thighs")?

Do you flush so that it coincides with a particularly loud expulsion? Or is that only for overly sensitive wimps?


If the guy in the next stall has his feet so wide apart that his shoes intrude into your stall do you kick them gently? Hard? Shit on them? Glare at them?

Wiping. Towards the back, towards the front, circular motions, or does your butler do it for you?

Do you check the paper for stains? Or do you place your trust in an indeterminate feeling of well-being and healthy dryness?

After you've finished, do you contemplate yourself in the mirror with satisfaction (the unbearable lightness of being cloacally empty); or do you skulk away, avoiding eye-contact with the manly men who hang around in the washroom, boasting about the size of their turds?

Re: Your anal etiquette

Rocket wipes my ass.

Re: Your anal etiquette

With paper? Or does he use his tongue? i ask for science.

Re: Your anal etiquette

Tongue.

Re: Your anal etiquette

Toilet paper on the seat definitely.

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"filmboards is a bold experiment in free speech and anarchy"
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Re: Your anal etiquette

Me too. Not sure if it makes a diff, though.

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Re: Your anal etiquette

I put three layers. If there's dried pee on the seat at least I won't get it on my ass.

Administrator
"filmboards is a bold experiment in free speech and anarchy"
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Re: Your anal etiquette

You're quite fastidious. I go for two. But only if the seat is dry.

Re: Your anal etiquette

Oh yeah a wet seat means I don't shit until I get home.

Administrator
"filmboards is a bold experiment in free speech and anarchy"
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Re: Your anal etiquette

Do you toilet paper the ass of the dude you're pounding in the toilet?

Re: Your anal etiquette

How does one toilet paper an ass?

Administrator
"filmboards is a bold experiment in free speech and anarchy"
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Re: Your anal etiquette

Lucky you. If you've ever had to use a public restroom in Mexico you'd know how scary that can be.

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Re: Your anal etiquette

Unbelievable! They sell you a small square of toilet paper for I forget how many pesos. They look at you strangely if you ask for more. And especially since you've been drinking tequila and eating spicy tortillas and so on…..

Re: Your anal etiquette

Farting happens. I don't speak in restrooms.

I do not line the lid with paper because I do not sit on the lid. I also do not line the seat with paper.

I don't flush to cover up sounds.

I haven't been faced with a wide spreader scenario. I suspect I would glare impotently.

I'm a back to fronter.

I do not check the paper. I believe in myself.

I scurry.

Follow up question: Standing to wipe or wiping while sitting?

Re: Your anal etiquette

Sitting, I think. Though a final wipe standing up is reassuring. Thanks for the detail of your response, btw.

Re: Your anal etiquette

Always glad to participate.

Re: Your anal etiquette

When I was at uni I had a prof (medieval litt) who would chat while he was pissing. Friendly guy (Brit from Cambridge). One time, he swung around enthusiastically, forgot he was pissing, and sprayed some guy next to him. Terrible scandal.

Re: Your anal etiquette

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Re: Your anal etiquette

You are clearly a sadist.

Re: Your anal etiquette

Are you trying to fill a void left by PE? Eat shit & die, weirdo.

Re: Your anal etiquette

lol and people complain about my occasional sexual threads

Is it improper to fart loudly when using public restrooms?

i don't fart. i don't even know how to do it.

if someone else farts, do you say..

i say nothing, i pretend to have not heard anything while switching to breathing through the mouth.

Do you line the toilet lid with toilet paper,


yeah.

Do you flush so that it coincides with a particularly loud expulsion? Or is that only for overly sensitive wimps?

lolwut

If the guy/girl in the next stall has his feet so wide apart that his/her shoes intrude into your stall do you kick them gently?

i don't kick people in public, wtf is wrong with u? i just check up on their shoes.

Wiping. Towards the back, towards the front, circular motions, or does your butler do it for you?

well i have to wipe both obviously, first the ass, then the vag, and always from front to back so no bacteria from the anus gets into the urethra which could cause urinary tract infection.

Do you check the paper for stains?


at home, no. my paper doesnt have stains. in public restrooms, yes.

After you've finished, do you contemplate yourself in the mirror with satisfaction

i always check up on me in the mirror before i leave the bathroom.

suck it.

Re: Your anal etiquette

Very detailed. Thank you. I didn't expect any females in this thread. I find it hard to believe your tp doesn't bear traces when you wipe. This is probably a delusion, but a relatively harmless one. Only your bf will suffer from this. I've heard about the wiping from front to back. Kate Blanchett wiped back to front in some movie (with Judy Dench) and the Americans on IMDB were so horrified!

Re: Your anal etiquette

LOL actually initially, i only wanted to post the first line and then "who tf cares about how people wipe their asses" but somehow i liked some of the questions and i said fuck it. also i could never talk about this on Facebook or other social media for obvious reason, but this place is ok.

I find it hard to believe your tp doesn't bear traces when you wipe. This is probably a delusion, but a relatively harmless one. Only your bf will suffer from this.

what do u mean lol yes it does. why is it a delusion? and why will only my bf suffer? huh

suck it.

Re: Your anal etiquette

oHHH wait!! nvm. i misunderstood the question with the stains on the paper. i thought u meant to ask if i check the paper for stains BEFORE i wipe. that i don't usually do.

and i don't check for stains after either. after almost 25 years i can tell by feeling if i'm clean. it's usually after the 5th or so wipe. i just hate looking at traces of my stuff. lol i also avoid looking into the toilet before flushing. i think the sight of shit is really nasty and gross.

suck it.

Re: Your anal etiquette

Both Lenny Bruce (the comedian) and Erica Jong have commented on this. Bruce suggests (probably a Freudian reading) that looking is Jewish and inevitable (probably a sign of anal-retentiveness). Jong has a long and hilarious discussion of different toilet styles (I think in Fear of Flying). She thinks that German toilets, which leave your turds high and dry till the flush sweeps it away, are a sign of the savagery and lack of civilization of the Germans (as a Jewess, she hates Germans). So for Jong, Germans like to look, and this demonstrates their depravity. For Bruce, Jews like to look, and this demonstrates their anality.

Re: Your anal etiquette



suck it.

Re: Your anal etiquette

Yes, i read very widely. I can give you a bibliography about shit that will blow your mind.

Re: Your anal etiquette

nah, i'm good, thanks.

have u seen the film based on Lenny Bruce's life, Lenny, with Dustin Hoffman? it's good.

suck it.

Re: Your anal etiquette

No, though I've heard it's good.

Re: Your anal etiquette

i've listed the film in my favourites of 1974:

https://www.filmboards.com/board/p/19727296/permalink/#p19727296

suck it.

Re: Your anal etiquette

Movieman wears a diaper.

Re: Your anal etiquette

You can use white strips as bleach if you don't want to pay salon prices.

Re: Your anal etiquette

I didn't understand this post at all.

Re: Your anal etiquette

You obviously don't bleach your anus -which is very impolite. A pink anus is a must if you care about anal etiquette. I'm giving people thrifty tips

Re: Your anal etiquette

I'm into l'anus au naturel. When God made Adam He didn't say: Hang on, son, we need to do something about those dark rings around your asshole.

Re: Your anal etiquette

That's true, and God's totes the best, but he isn't known for having an amazing body -or any body at all. Is that who you want to take your anal advice from?

Re: Your anal etiquette

And God said: Verily I say unto thee, bleach not, blecccchhh not!

Re: Your anal etiquette

Re: Your anal etiquette

Hahaha, farts.

Re: Your anal etiquette



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