The Walking Dead : My body exploded last night

Trigger warnings for the following:
diarrhea
vomit
blue
Friends
bad odors
pimples
blood



I had paperwork to do last night but I still wanted to partake in the Superbowl fun. So I indulged and drank two A&W rootbeers and ate a bowl of Unicorn Sparkle ice cream during the halftime show. I felt fine at the time.
I woke up around 3 a.m. My stomach was having the pains. You know the ones. I went to the bathroom and had a very liquid poo. There was just so much. And then, all of a sudden, as I am sitting there on the toilet, my body heaves. I threw my hands up over my mouth in an ill fated attempt at stopping or catching the vomit. It poured through my hands and down my arms, down my pajamas, into my socks, and onto the floor. Instead of chunky brown or beige foodlike vomit, there was liquid vibrant blue everywhere. It looked like paint. It was very close to the blue of Monica's kitchen cabinets on Friends. The sink with the mirror is directly in front of the toilet. I raised my head from my hands and looked into the mirror in horror. The first thing that struck me was the blue smeared all around my mouth, chin, high up on my cheeks. My hair, oh my hair. My hair was streaked with the blue. I looked like a toddler who had gotten into an art supply closet and poured blue paint all over myself and tried to eat it. The smell. Oh lord, the smell. It was in my nostrils, in my skin, and in my hair. The smell was making me want to vomit again. I brushed my teeth and tongue. I got into the shower and scrubbed myself raw. I shampooed and conditioned my hair. And yet. When I got into bed, I could still smell the vomit. When I woke up this morning, I had a big white teenage-looking round pimple tucked into the corner of my nose. It was gross looking but looked like it could be easily removed. Wrong. I scrunched my nose and pushed my nostril with my pointer finger to really make sure the base of the pimple came out too. The pimple burst easily alright. Then blood starting pouring down, all the way down to my lip. I cleaned that up. Here I am now, nine hours after the vile event in my bathroom, and my hands still smell like vomit after having been washed six or seven times. I feel like vomiting again right now.

This story could not have been relayed fully without my years of tutelage under AyntyBainbridgeBanFlusher.

This spew's for you, Aunty!

Time to shut this board down

@nimda

Poopy posts have been the "wallpaper" of the TWD board for years. I don't know where I'd be without them!

I am sorry but I laughed so hard at this. I really hope you are feeling a lot better today!

It's okay! I am laughing, too! It was a crazy thing that happened to me. I am staying away from Unicorn Sparkle ice cream for the rest of my life!

Normally tales of poo and vomit don't do it for me but this killed me! You're so funny, penny.

The friends warning was 👌

Why is our reaction to try and catch the puke? I've done that too. Probably just a knee jerk reaction. Like Jackie o trying to get JFK's head back together. That always kills me (but in a sad way)

I hope you feel better!

Oh poor Jackie O

My lands, what art!

That reminds me of the scene at around 21:43 of S3E6 of TWD. I'll describe it in case you can't remember it.

The shot opens with the boy Carl sitting alone on the stump of a fallen tree. He is quietly singing to himself a song he's working on titled "Pudding In, Pudding Out" but he hasn't finished it yet. The strange girl Euclid comes in from his right, but Coral doesn't know it is there. Suddenly, Karl tries to stand and run because a zombie has reached up out of the stump to grab him.

As Carl gets up, we see that he is actually morbidly, shockingly, obese, but this whole time he has pulled his skin and fat back and stapled it behind him so no one can tell. This also explains why we never see shots of Curl from the side or behind in the show, which we previously assumed was just a plot hole. Anyway, as you will remember, the zombie grabs a lump of Corl's stapled fat and the staples start to give way.

It turns out that it is not fat that is being pulled back and held together with staples, but all of the poop that the show has not shown Carl pooping for the entire series. Again, another plot hole answered. The bulging, overstuffed poop starts to rip through the stapled flesh and quickly buries the zombie under a mound of well preserved pudding and dreet. Eunice sees this and immediately throws up onto that ugly guy they keep calling Carol, who plops out a baby that is actually a perfect miniature Ed Peletier.

Anyway, the episode gets weirder after that but that's what your story reminded me of.

Dunno if this is the original Aunty but it is sheer genius!

I didn't think it was really Aunty at first, but the real Aunty did used to say "my lands," and I found threads he started with the "pudding in, pudding out" phrase (so it might be him or someone who knows him really well):

"Pudding in, pudding out." What did Rick mean by this?

What did Rick mean by, "Pudding in, pudding out"?

Someone like… you!

^

That's insulting! I would never use my regular account to convince people a sock of mine was another poster.

Let the record show that Penny has bullied me off the TWD board!

Bye Aunty! See you in a year.

You popped my cherry, Crystal! I never bullied anyone off the board before!

You guys are hurting my feelings.

So was Lori pudding out while Rick was sheriffing around?

That had to hurt.

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😺 Schrodinger's Cat walks into a bar, and doesn't. 🤨 President Trump is a HERO, and will win in a landslide in November!

Yar.

A blast from the past.

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😺 Schrodinger's Cat walks into a bar, and doesn't. 🤨 President Trump is a HERO, and will win in a landslide in November!

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😺 Schrodinger's Cat walks into a bar, and doesn't. 🤨 President Trump is a HERO, and will win in a landslide in November!

Bump

I can't believe you bumped this thread. I had forgotten this even happened!!!!
What a night that was!

Wait , I thought you stole this from Reddit 😂

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Oh yesss…Boo 💦💦💦

Oh, I wish I had

God I’m really sorry that all that happened

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Oh yesss…Boo 💦💦💦

Please don’t be. I suffered no long term ill-effects and I knew it would make a great story even as it was happening to me!

Lol, I read a story on Reddit about bad CaCaJohns pizza, involving a guy with the runs and a burst hemorrhoid 🤮

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Oh yesss…Boo 💦💦💦

I'm sorry too, Penny, not only for you getting sick but the mess you had to clean up

What a misery

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If we take the time to see with the heart and not with the mind, we shall see that we are surrounded completely by angels ~ Carlos Santana

You are so sweet, Nettie!

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If we take the time to see with the heart and not with the mind, we shall see that we are surrounded completely by angels ~ Carlos Santana

It needs to be bumped regularly.

If for any reason, to at least remind me to avoid unicorn ice cream

I remember once I vomited and farted at the same time. Good times.

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I hope a bear throw a book at you, moon at you, and do a tap dance wearing a thong and leather boots.

Hot

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Oh yesss…Boo 💦💦💦

I guess the root beer and Unicorn Sparkle Ice-cream just don't blend well as an internal soda.

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Norman! What did you put in my tea?

I first read this as “international” soda

The internal mix is a firm no-no

I had to look up that Unicorn Sparkle Ice-cream and it looks horrendous. All that colouring and sweet candies in it.

They shouldn't even be allowed to make this stuff for kids.

There are far better more "normal" generic ice-creams to have and with root beer, plain old vanilla would have sufficed.

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Norman! What did you put in my tea?

That as definitely something I let my youngest pick out for the Super Bowl. I’ve learned my lesson!

Lovely story, but a missed opportunity as I see it.

Imagine how much fun it would have been to flip on the light as you stumbled into one of your kids' rooms with your arms outstretched and a zombie-like look on your face while making snarling noises.

You and I think alike, no kizzy

Is that what you were hoping for?

How disgusting