The Soapbox : Poll: Who would win in a race? Rocket (me) or Kork?

Rocket wins by a mile. He's surprisingly quick despite looking like a guy who doesn't really move fast for anything. Kork would only get about ten feet before collapsing and trying to show his disgusting dick to all the female spectators.

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Kork wins by a hair. Ironic, since he doesn't have any. His countless hours spent perfecting his stalking mechanics have made him pretty adept at sprinting to his car whenever he's about to be confronted by someone. However, he's lost a lot of his speed due to being 72 years of age, which is why he now does most of his stalking/harassing online.

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Neither wins. Both collapse as soon as they leave the starting line. Rocket then kills himself in shame and Kork goes home to try and cry to his mother who locks her bedroom door since she knows he'll just start taking his frustrations out on her.

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Happiness, coming and going. I watch you look at me, watch my fever growing. I know just who I am.

You. Anyone but Kirk.

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Slash be like:

Kirk's seen everything you got.

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My password is password.

So

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Slash be like:

Look at this nasty fat old ****** thinking he can do anything more than duck walk to the toilet. Get out of here with your nonsense, boy.

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Happiness, coming and going. I watch you look at me, watch my fever growing. I know just who I am.

I'm not fat for one thing **** face.

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Cum Here

Yeah, you are.

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Happiness, coming and going. I watch you look at me, watch my fever growing. I know just who I am.

How do you figure RETARD?

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Cum Here

I saw the pic of you shoveling snow. You look like a little rollie pollie. It'd be adorable if it wasn't for the fact that you are, honest to god, one of the ugliest men I've ever seen.

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Happiness, coming and going. I watch you look at me, watch my fever growing. I know just who I am.

That's terrible!

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My password is password

Im bent over shoveling snow in a heavy winter jacket,ill admit I was 35 lbs heavier in January,and it's an unflattering picture,but I've got nothing to ****in prove to you or anybody here,as Steve Lake says,you look like something Gameboy **** out of his ass,so whatever 😅😅

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Cum Here

Im bent over

You've submitted. It's over.

You've got nothing to prove and yet you'll argue about it all day long as if you do.

Kork, you really want people here to find you attractive. You go out of your way to post only pictures of yourself that you think are flattering when the sad reality of the situation is that not a single picture you could post would change the fact that you were cursed with one of the most grotesque visages mankind has ever seen.

But then there's me. Rocketman. Certifiable Stud, Rocketman. If I actually gave a **** about getting with any of the fine ladies on this forum, I would've been able to do it almost instantly. Hell, I've got a few who are genuinely keen on me and I haven't done anything other than simply exist on this forum. My charisma is so powerful that my words get women hot and bothered.

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Happiness, coming and going. I watch you look at me, watch my fever growing. I know just who I am.

Na your words give them the ****s.

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Cum Here

Then why do I have 12 votes in the Filmboards Crush poll? lolisimo!

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Happiness, coming and going. I watch you look at me, watch my fever growing. I know just who I am.

How did you lose 35lbs?

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My password is password

Less eating at night and medication for hypothyroidism,that was undiagnosed for a year, I want to drop 15 more and I'll feel pretty good about it👍

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Cum Here

this is a good poll. ambitious and thorough

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Back to back rock-paper-scissors world champion

You. It would be a race of retards, but one is a 70 year old retard trying to run against a 30 year old retard. actually, may be too close to call.

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What happened to the American Dream? It came true! You're lookin' at it…

You should have a dance off!

Kirk would win. He's actually surprisingly nimble on his feet. He bases his dancing style on this guy's:

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Thank you for talking to me

jesus

My god that’s a great little tiny dancer

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Back to back rock-paper-scissors world champion

Hell yeah. I used to be a breakdancer back in high school. Haven't danced in quite some time, though. Had a pretty bad accident where I kicked a child in the face while doing a headspin and gave her a severe case of the retardation.

I wonder, if I did the same to Kirk, would it actually fix his brain? Let's find out.

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Happiness, coming and going. I watch you look at me, watch my fever growing. I know just who I am.

Kork wins by a hair.

a pubic hair

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My password is password

Koik can blow himself and eat his own ass. He's physically capable of anything, except for growing hair

He's physically capable of anything, except for growing hair

you obviously haven't seen his pubes

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My password is password

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Cum Here