The Soapbox : My initial thoughts on the Salem Witch Trials

they happened.

Yes. They did. Great point.

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Good talk.

thanks for agreeing. if i'm being honest, i find it hard to express my opinions on these trials. they get people so fired up.

Witches were just poor ugly old women who made shit like beer, and dumb honky religious zealots fucked they shit up because they hate women and were mentally deficient aka religious.

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🖕

woman: *coughs during prayer*

gross old puritans: "that b a witch"

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Extract this perversion from my good signature.

Let's be real, those cunts deserved it.

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My password is password

You’re only saying that cos ur ancestors survived

I had an ancestor who was convicted of witchcraft in Fairfield, CT back in the 1600s. Her name was Mercy Disborough.

They gave her the old tie-her-to-a-chair-then-throw-her-in-the-water-and-see-if-she-drowns treatment, but records say she "bobbed like a cork" even when they tried to force her under. She was eventually acquitted, and was even played by Winston Churchill's daughter in a made-for-TV movie back in the 50s.

I honour her legacy by being a real-life pagan. May as well give those townspeople the bang for their buck all these centuries later.

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Hark! Harold the angel sings.

The treatment back then was horrible! I will look her up and send blessing to the winds in her honor.

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Sulk off Millard.

My ancestor was the one who tied her to the chair. Dr. Friar Wescott Branch III.

LOL @ “bobbed like a cork” - pleaaaase 😭 these pruney gross colonial men are embarrassing. I’m surprised she was acquitted. This seems like one of those guilty until impossibly proven innocent type shams.

I honour her legacy by being a real-life pagan. May as well give those townspeople the bang for their buck all these centuries later.

We love a happy ending 🥂

My thoughts on this topic:

Wtf

If you are going to be singing…

🎵Dig through the ditches and burn through the witches
I slam in the back of my Dragula
Dig through the ditches and burn through the witches
I slam in the back of my Dragula🎵

…you may as well get some high kicks in, right?

I had an ancestor who testified against a neighbor, an accused witch in 17th century Nova Scotia.

I support false testimony.

Fuck yeah. You should falsely accuse a neighbour of making animal sacrifices to Satan in his memory.

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Hark! Harold the angel sings.

If it gets me his lawnmower, I am in.

Damn, it’s in your blood Corwin?!

Remind me to never call you as a witness 🥲

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It is May 25th, 2023. I feel fear for the last time.

Okay, maybe it wasn’t about witches and didn’t technically take place in Salem

*air quotes*

It was the Australian bitch trials.

There are flat earthers so I wouldn't put it past some people lol.

I am parodying this thread: https://www.filmboards.com/board/t/My-initial-thoughts-on-the-Kyle-Rittenhouse-trial-3402081/

Jan made the point that it’s tragically late to have “initial thoughts” on that event