The Soapbox : My initial thoughts on the Salem Witch Trials

they happened.

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Yes. They did. Great point.

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Vlad did nothing wrong.

thanks for agreeing. if i'm being honest, i find it hard to express my opinions on these trials. they get people so fired up.

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Witches were just poor ugly old women who made **** like beer, and dumb honky religious zealots ****ed they **** up because they hate women and were mentally deficient aka religious.

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ᴳᵒ ᶠᵘᶜᵏ ʸᵒᵘʳˢᵉˡᶠ

woman: *coughs during prayer*

gross old puritans: "that b a witch"

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Let's be real, those ***** deserved it.

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My password is password

You’re only saying that cos ur ancestors survived

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I had an ancestor who was convicted of witchcraft in Fairfield, CT back in the 1600s. Her name was Mercy Disborough.

They gave her the old tie-her-to-a-chair-then-throw-her-in-the-water-and-see-if-she-drowns treatment, but records say she "bobbed like a cork" even when they tried to force her under. She was eventually acquitted, and was even played by Winston Churchill's daughter in a made-for-TV movie back in the 50s.

I honour her legacy by being a real-life pagan. May as well give those townspeople the bang for their buck all these centuries later.

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Hark! Harold the angel sings.

The treatment back then was horrible! I will look her up and send blessing to the winds in her honor.

My ancestor was the one who tied her to the chair. Dr. Friar Wescott Branch III.

LOL @ “bobbed like a cork” - pleaaaase 😭 these pruney gross colonial men are embarrassing. I’m surprised she was acquitted. This seems like one of those guilty until impossibly proven innocent type shams.

I honour her legacy by being a real-life pagan. May as well give those townspeople the bang for their buck all these centuries later.

We love a happy ending 🥂

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My thoughts on this topic:

Wtf

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If you are going to be singing…

🎵Dig through the ditches and burn through the witches
I slam in the back of my Dragula
Dig through the ditches and burn through the witches
I slam in the back of my Dragula🎵

…you may as well get some high kicks in, right?

I had an ancestor who testified against a neighbor, an accused witch in 17th century Nova Scotia.

I support false testimony.

Fuck yeah. You should falsely accuse a neighbour of making animal sacrifices to Satan in his memory.

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Hark! Harold the angel sings.

If it gets me his lawnmower, I am in.

Damn, it’s in your blood Corwin?!

Remind me to never call you as a witness 🥲

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Happiness, coming and going. I watch you look at me, watch my fever growing. I know just who I am.

Okay, maybe it wasn’t about witches and didn’t technically take place in Salem

*air quotes*

It was the Australian bitch trials.

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There are flat earthers so I wouldn't put it past some people lol.

I am parodying this thread: https://www.filmboards.com/board/t/My-initial-thoughts-on-the-Kyle-Rittenhouse-trial-3402081/

Jan made the point that it’s tragically late to have “initial thoughts” on that event

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