Seems Like Old Times : Favorite Quotes

This movie is easily one of the funniest ever made. I can't
believe there's no quotes page like other movies.so lets' start
making one now!

Nick: Sowhere's my chicken?
Glenda: The police took it.
Nick: They took your chicken? Was it illegal chicken?

Ira: What's wrong? What are you doing?
Glenda: I'm hyperventilating.I can't breathe.
Ira: What do you mean you can't breathe? All you're doing is breathing.
Glenda: I'm getting too much oxygen.
Ira: Do you want some water?
Glenda: How can I drink and breathe at the same time?
Ira: I breathe all the time and I drink *plenty* of water!

Glenda: Nick, please turn yourself in. They're not going to
lock you up for something you didn't do.
Nick: Is that the way it works, Chet?
Chet: Not in MY neighborhood.

Judge: Can I ask you something, Mr. Gardenia:
Nick: If I can be of any help in this matter, Judge, it's my pleasure.
Judge: Were you apprehended or did you surrender?
Nick: I surrendered.
Ira: He was apprehended.
Glenda: He was apprehended after he surrendered.
Ira: He didn't surrender to me, therefore he was apprehended.
Glenda: He was going to surrender after dinner. I told him to
wait in the kitchen.
Judge: (Drops his pencil in disgust) And did you stay in the kitchen?
Nick: No, I had to serve dinner.
Judge: You were serving dinner to the district attorney and his wife?
Nick: Uh-huhand the Governor.
Joudge: The Governor? OUR Governor?
Nick: I didn't ask him. He *looked* like our governor.
Ira: Your Honor, if we're going to get into such trivialities
like our guest list, we might as well discuss what was served.
Nick: Chicken pepperoni, your Honor. The Governor seemed to like
it if it has any bearing on the case.
Judge: Hold it hold it.would you just hold it?! Are you trying
to tell me that while every policeman in the state was looking for
you, YOU were serving dinner to the district attorney, his wife and
our governor? (Chuckles in disbelief) How is that possible?
Nick: Wellyou have to prepare everything in advance.
(or something very close to it!)

LET'S HEAR YOUR FAVORITE LINES! THIS MOVIE DESERVES IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aurora: Hey You there man!!

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Aurora: I had to get my feet a' scraped!

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Chester: This is the first time I get to chase the Police!

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Glenda: Did you see Polonious (one of the dogs)?
Aurora: He came in this door and went out that one.
Glenda: Do you know where he went?
Aurora: No, I didn't ask, he didn't say.

It's actually goes. (Don't want to seem like a know it all but I watched this movie so many times on cable back in the early 80s that the dialog is eched in my brain)
Aurora : (Looking out the door) Oy what's this? I don't like the looks of that man. (Opens the back door, yells to Nick) Hey what are ju doing there man!

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Chester: Hot damn, I finally get a chance to chase the po-lice!

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I like this one.

Aurora after telling Glenda about the Indian guys being arrested for "stealing" Mr Park's car.
Aurora: Do you want me to cook your breakfast?
Glenda: Who cares about breakfast at a time like this?!
Nick (whispering loudly to Glenda from inside the garage apartment) Eggs.
Glenda: (to Aurora) Eggs!
Nick: Bacon.
Glenda: Bacon!
Nick: Waffles.
Glenda: Waffles!
Nick: Toast.
Glenda: Toast! (turning to go back in)
Nick: Coffee.
Glenda: (turning back to Aurora) Coffee!
Nick: More eggs.
Glenda: More eggs!
Glenda turns back to go inside again
Nick (to Glenda) Thank you.
Glenda: (to Aurora) Thank you!

I love when Nick tells the bank robbers who kidnapped him that he's "ready to quit the gang!"

Neil Simon's crowning acheivment!

I submitted this first quote to IMDb. But knowing them it will take the better half of a year before it's on the site. (if it has asterisks next to it, I'm not sure of the exact quote.)

Gwen: Chester. You just went through a stop sign.
Chester: I can't help it. I don't like to read when I drive.

Warren: *Could we use your phone? We're having a bit of car trouble.*
Nick: I'm sorry I don't have a phone.
Warren: That's ok, we don't have a car.
Nick: I'm afraid I don't understand.
Warren: [Pulls out gun] Does this clear it up for you?
Nick: No, I'm afraid not, you see, I'm blind.
[BeeGee and Warren look at each other as Nick tries to close the door on them. They apprehend Nick in the kitchen.]
Nick: It's not a permanent condition. It comes and goes.

BeeGee: Now, you remember where this gun is, a**hole.
Nick: Right side. Middle of the ribs.

Gwen: Oh my corn! They ate my beautiful corn!
Ira: The Indians ate your corn?
Gwen: No the rabbits! The rabbits ate my corn.
Ira: *Don't worry about the corn*
Gwen: Oh Ira, I could cry.
Ira: Forget the corn! We could have gone to Europe for the amount it cost us to grow 6 lousy ears of corn.

More to come!!

Best part of the movie hands down was when they're in the courtroom and Ira says " Only two of the dogs were ours sir, the other four acted on their own responsibility"

My favorite part

When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace- Jimi Hendrix

Aurora: Mrs. Parks
Glenda: What now?
Aurora: The dogs ran away again
Glenda: Naturally
Aurora: What should I do?
Glenda: Nothing, I'll get six new ones tonight
Aurora: Oh no

THE KITCHEN SCENE WHEN SHE SAID WHERE DID HE CAME FROME

Ira (ready for bed, and seeing the 5 dogs stretched all over the bed): "All right, Glenda' Wild Kingdom,' or me?"



Ira: You want me to adopt him?! I'll make the cover of the National Enquirer!

Oh yeah and then Ira says to Glenda: Why am I always the last one in the neighborhood to get into bed with you? LOL!!

I hope they shoot you! I hope they shoot you right here in my kitchen! And when they drag your dead body out, I hope they shoot you again!

Aurora: The dogs know that if something happen to Aurora, they dont get their hamburger tonight, you understand.

I also like when Goldie Hawn takes out the chicken, and Aurora gets mad cause she wanted it. AND THE BEER!

That is my favorite - cracks me up every time!

well said, well spoken, BeeGee

Yes!!! I love this line!!!

Glenda: Would you like more chicken?
Govenor: More? We haven't had any.
Glenda: I meant ANY more chicken


Haha, that's my favorite line. I still think of it when I ask that or get asked if I want more of something.

Gotta love Aurora!!!


Glenda: Whats the matter Aurora, you seem grouchy?
Aurora: Whats the matter? I have 6 dogs, 2 cats, 5 goldfish, a chauffer, a man and a woman to feed and none of you eat at the same time or the same food.
Glenda: Five dogs, not six.
Aurora: Then one of them has a guest for dinner.
Glenda: Oh, my god. Where did he come from?
Aurora: If I was a stray dog, this is the first place I'd come to.
Glenda: Oh, he must have been the one that peed on the floor.
Aurora: That's nothing compared to what he's done on the stairs.
Glenda: I'll clean it up. Don't tell Mr. Parks. He's so busy he won't notice it for weeks.
Aurora: He will if he don't wear slippers around the house.

Ira: (returning home, to find Glenda struggling with Pepperoni Chicken sauce) "Jesusit looks like a scene out of an Italian movie."

Glenda: "Knock it off, Ira! I've had a rough day. This is my third batch of pepperoni saucethe dogs are half-dead from tasing it."

The best quote has to be in the court room scene when the Judge points out that the bank robbers were apprehended by their cook and six of their dogs.

Ira says, "Only two of the dogs are ours. The other four were acting on their own responsibilities."

Judge: "That face. Where do I know that face?"
Chester: "From here. It's mine"

Nicholas, driving around the bank with the robbers: "Looks like we're gonna have to call it off, I can't find a place to park."

That unintelligible cry when the Governor's driver dumps hot coffee on Nicholas, roughly: "Hajee!"

How about after they are pulled over and the police see Nick in the back seat?


Nick: I carve President's heads out of driftwood. We employ mostly veterans and the handicapped.







"I've been to a rodeo, state fair and picnic, and that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard come over a pair of headphones"

Love that chicken pepperoni!!!

I was just about to post that one. I love it.

Ira: "Have you seen Glenda?"
Aurora: "She's not outside eating chicken, that's for sure."

I say that all the time to myself. I "heart" Aurora and her a'scraped feet.

I love it when Nick's in the car with the robbers after they've been to the bank and he says he wants to get out and one of the robbers says "Okay, just you get out when you want" and Nick says "Any chance you stopping the car first?" and they laugh then he says "How bout slowing down to 55?" before getting thrown from the car down the hill. This is one of my favourite movies along with Chevy in the 'Vacations'.

How long does it take to scrape feet?

I absolutely love this movie! So hysterical. The part when Nick is under the bed in the "guest room" when Ira is attempting to clean out the room, while "discussing" the topic of Nick with GlendaPROPS! If you notice, Ira and Glenda are really not saying anything of substance when Nick is busy signaling with his fingers. THAT WHOLE SCENE IS GOLD!

And does anyone have the ending conversation between Nick, Glenda, and Ira? It was very sweet and I'm too lazy to reqind the tape and replay it over and over again 'Kay, thanks! :]

Glenda: Sorry I took so long.
Ira: Are you alright?
Glenda: Yes, I'm alright.
Ira: Are you sure because you don't look alright.
Glenda: I'm alright, don't I look alright?
Govenor: She's looks alright.
Fred's wife: She looks alright to me
Govenor's wife: She looks gorgeous.
Ira: Fred, how does she look to you.
Fred: alright.

Chevy definitely borrowed from his "TriOpenin" commercial from the first year of Saturday Night Live" where (you can't see him but you know it's his hand) they're selling an arthritis pain reliever in a child-proof bottle and his hands fidget 'trying to open' it. Classic.
Another great line after Ira left and Nick got out from under the bed:
Glenda: "I've never hurt him like that. Did you see that look on his face?"
Nick: "No, but his shoes looked in pretty bad shape."

-longer than it takes to make chicken pepperoni(or dinner!)" haha!

You can live on fishes but you can't live on wishes

Longer than it does to make Chicken Pepperoni

Glenda: You never grow up!
Nick: I tried to. I grew a mustache but it fell off.

I dont know if i got it 100% right but that one kills me.


http://horror-movie-a-day.blogspot.com

Same here - love that line!

Ira
"Why am I always the last in the neighborhood to get into bed with you?"

I like when BeeGee says to Nick"What are you doing up there all alone ***hole?" and Nick laughingly says"That's okay you can call me Nick"

The one that gets me EVERY TIME is when Glenda is trying to tell Aurora that Nick is the decorator and Aurora responds, "He don't look like any decorator I ever seen." This gets me laughing so hard. Now, when things don't look just quite right to me, I say something like this in sarcastic response.

"Eat the chicken Fred."

"Don't snap at me!"

Ira: (fearing for his chance to become Attorney General) "With any luck, I might still have a shot at security guard for the county museum."

Great movie! Saw it again for the first time in a long while on TCM. I know this is an old post and some good quotes here but I cannot believe one of my favorite quotes isn't on here.



Officer: "Do you know you went through a stop sign back there?"

Chester: " I know officer, I was just about to back up and stop at it."

Chester has all the best lines.

Glenda: Nick, please turn yourself in. They're not going to
lock you up for something you didn't do.

Nick: Is that the way it works, Chet?

Chester: Not in MY neighborhood.


And don't forget:

Glenda: Oh, there goes Fred.

"Love that chicken pepperoni!"

"Don't start with me Fred"


I actually say that pepperoni line randomly. No one ever knows what the hell I'm talking about. lol

Not necessarily the quote but how Goldie says it and her eyes. They are on the bed and he's talking about how she was all naked at some time in the past. Nick is under the bed & she knows it. She's yells, no I wasn't, so funny.

"No kisses Nick, I'm a married woman with a governor inside"

Her whole rant to Ira about how she & Nick had pulled a long con on him. "Alright, you're too smart for us Ira. Nick & I PURPOSEFULLY got a divorce so I could marry you, knowing you would buy a house with a room over the garage.etc"

I ALWAYS crack up at how Nick wipes the smudge of oil on her face & she doesn't know & walks back into the party, acting all calm and gracious, while everyone is looked at her with a big smudge of oil on her face. LOL


One of my fav all time movies!!!

Aurora to the Judge:

"They grabbed the gringos and they chewed em all up into pieces!"

The Gov talking about the chicken pepperoni:

"It's tangier, spicier than last time. I like that!" Or something to that affect.

It's all about how the actors delivered the lines than the lines themselves. They were all just spot on.