Jonathan Brandis : Incredibly Saddening - any facts??
Re: Incredibly Saddening - any facts??
Reply |
1. He was suffering from the type of depression that believes it's "not worth saving" (common, unfortunately.) He was a consummate actor, in that his parents, while they knew something was wrong, didn't know the depths to which he'd sunk, even the weekend before the act.
He was precious.
He is still.
We lost a good one.
2.Depression kind of reduces the world to black and white and the inability to see the 'color' of life no matter how it's presented. Although people told him that he was loved (maybe adored is better word) sincerely, it just couldn't get through.
That is probably the saddest aspect of all.
3. Can't say, really.
4. No. He was extraordinarily careful to make certain that no one could blame themselves for not acting on his late-life talk, and carefully spread the total story across many different places so no one person could put them together until after the fact. Of course, hindsight is 20/20, and now we can connect all the dots.
5. He invested in property, saved much of what he'd made, and wasn't having any serious money problems.
6. He hid it extremely well, but had apparently been suffering for many years. I never personally recognized depression or suicidal ideation in him. I have it too. He asked me when he was younger if he had ever caused me "a depression".
I told him that he and my other students were the most powerful cure I could ever ask for.
7. Your choice to believe or not. If it comforts someone to be able to have JB back again, who am I to dispel that feeling? JB has a Facebook profile (a few.) One of them is hers.
8. He had acting work, but he actually wanted to segue from acting to writing and directing, and he was fine with that (at least he seemed to be.) In reality it would be very difficult for anyone to face that rejection, and doubly difficult if he was sinking into feelings of worthlessness.
I knew him for about half of his life. He was a truly great soul, and to say that I miss his presence in the world is a terrible understatement.
I hope he found his peace.
No fate but what we make. -Terminator II
He was precious.
He is still.
We lost a good one.
2.Depression kind of reduces the world to black and white and the inability to see the 'color' of life no matter how it's presented. Although people told him that he was loved (maybe adored is better word) sincerely, it just couldn't get through.
That is probably the saddest aspect of all.
3. Can't say, really.
4. No. He was extraordinarily careful to make certain that no one could blame themselves for not acting on his late-life talk, and carefully spread the total story across many different places so no one person could put them together until after the fact. Of course, hindsight is 20/20, and now we can connect all the dots.
5. He invested in property, saved much of what he'd made, and wasn't having any serious money problems.
6. He hid it extremely well, but had apparently been suffering for many years. I never personally recognized depression or suicidal ideation in him. I have it too. He asked me when he was younger if he had ever caused me "a depression".
I told him that he and my other students were the most powerful cure I could ever ask for.
7. Your choice to believe or not. If it comforts someone to be able to have JB back again, who am I to dispel that feeling? JB has a Facebook profile (a few.) One of them is hers.
8. He had acting work, but he actually wanted to segue from acting to writing and directing, and he was fine with that (at least he seemed to be.) In reality it would be very difficult for anyone to face that rejection, and doubly difficult if he was sinking into feelings of worthlessness.
I knew him for about half of his life. He was a truly great soul, and to say that I miss his presence in the world is a terrible understatement.
I hope he found his peace.
No fate but what we make. -Terminator II
Re: Incredibly Saddening - any facts??
Reply |
Thank you for your reply, it is good to hear from someone who knew him.
Jonathan's story has such a heartbreaking ending.
It's so heartbreaking (as suicide is) but even moreso that someone so unbelievably physically beautiful, who appeared to have a beautiful sensitive soul too, who was loved, who was so incredibly talented (despite the lack of Hollywood recognition perhaps at that one point) who had some bad breaks (Harts War+depression+Star Wars and Gramercy - where is Haydn Christianson now anyway?E) that appeared to pile up - and it's actually all so ephemeral and actually he was more than enough without any of that.
So much more than most. So nonsensical and so sad for his parents and loved ones. I can only think that perhaps his actions somehow saved others and brought some education to this sad sad topic - depression and suicide. It doesn't sound like he sought help - medication or AA or therapy - and maybe that's a lesson too. If he did have a drinking problem I wish he had gone to AA where he would have found a spiritual solution as opposed to the permanent solution of death.
Somehow his death is so much more searing that any others I have come across (Kurt Cobain, River Phoenix, George Michael, etc)
Maybe because he seemed pure and beautiful and loved and he didn't know it, to such an extent that he felt not worthy of life. To think of such beauty, such talent and kindness as ashesas we all will be one day, but so early into what could have been a journey of innumerable directions. And no note - I hope because of spur of the moment and not months/days/weeks of agony. There is a solution.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-8255 (24/7)
http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources
Very beautiful tribute:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=s8DPc1tNL74
Jonathan's story has such a heartbreaking ending.
It's so heartbreaking (as suicide is) but even moreso that someone so unbelievably physically beautiful, who appeared to have a beautiful sensitive soul too, who was loved, who was so incredibly talented (despite the lack of Hollywood recognition perhaps at that one point) who had some bad breaks (Harts War+depression+Star Wars and Gramercy - where is Haydn Christianson now anyway?E) that appeared to pile up - and it's actually all so ephemeral and actually he was more than enough without any of that.
So much more than most. So nonsensical and so sad for his parents and loved ones. I can only think that perhaps his actions somehow saved others and brought some education to this sad sad topic - depression and suicide. It doesn't sound like he sought help - medication or AA or therapy - and maybe that's a lesson too. If he did have a drinking problem I wish he had gone to AA where he would have found a spiritual solution as opposed to the permanent solution of death.
Somehow his death is so much more searing that any others I have come across (Kurt Cobain, River Phoenix, George Michael, etc)
Maybe because he seemed pure and beautiful and loved and he didn't know it, to such an extent that he felt not worthy of life. To think of such beauty, such talent and kindness as ashesas we all will be one day, but so early into what could have been a journey of innumerable directions. And no note - I hope because of spur of the moment and not months/days/weeks of agony. There is a solution.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-8255 (24/7)
http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources
Very beautiful tribute:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=s8DPc1tNL74
Re: Incredibly Saddening - any facts??
Reply |
Thanks for that. I sometimes forget to include the numbers for the suicide hotline.
The truth is that he was so anti-drug that he walked out of a doctor's office when he wanted to prescribe him Valium. He did like to drink, but he was 27 in a party town and just went with the flow and his friends all drank - not really to excess.
Maybe he was self-medicating with it. He should have realized alcohol is a depressant.
I think a lot of the shock comes from seeing the manufactured image (and the one he worked so hard to maintain, a lot of it the real person) and then finding out he had committed suicide. It simply makes one wonder - if someone so seemingly talented, intelligent, carefree and successful couldn't find happiness, what chance do the rest of us 'average people' have? It also shows that whatever we see, no matter how convincing, there are always deeper layers we can't. Maybe the unthinkable happening to someone so loved will make us even more cautious in seeing others as they are and not just as they seem. Maybe not.
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems-and-poets/poems/detail/44982
He was all those things and more. These kinds of thoughts kept me from sleep for years, along with those second-guesses and regrets. You know, "Maybe if I/we/they/he had" It was, and is, devastating, and I hope you too can find some measure of peace with it, knowing that, at the very least, he is no longer troubled with whatever took him from us.
All the best to you. Make life count.
"The Scar remembers the wound. The wound remembers the pain. Once more you are crying." -Mark Strand
The truth is that he was so anti-drug that he walked out of a doctor's office when he wanted to prescribe him Valium. He did like to drink, but he was 27 in a party town and just went with the flow and his friends all drank - not really to excess.
Maybe he was self-medicating with it. He should have realized alcohol is a depressant.
I think a lot of the shock comes from seeing the manufactured image (and the one he worked so hard to maintain, a lot of it the real person) and then finding out he had committed suicide. It simply makes one wonder - if someone so seemingly talented, intelligent, carefree and successful couldn't find happiness, what chance do the rest of us 'average people' have? It also shows that whatever we see, no matter how convincing, there are always deeper layers we can't. Maybe the unthinkable happening to someone so loved will make us even more cautious in seeing others as they are and not just as they seem. Maybe not.
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems-and-poets/poems/detail/44982
Maybe because he seemed pure and beautiful and loved and he didn't know it, to such an extent that he felt not worthy of life. To think of such beauty, such talent and kindness as ashesas we all will be one day, but so early into what could have been a journey of innumerable directions. And no note - I hope because of spur of the moment and not months/days/weeks of agony.
He was all those things and more. These kinds of thoughts kept me from sleep for years, along with those second-guesses and regrets. You know, "Maybe if I/we/they/he had" It was, and is, devastating, and I hope you too can find some measure of peace with it, knowing that, at the very least, he is no longer troubled with whatever took him from us.
All the best to you. Make life count.
"The Scar remembers the wound. The wound remembers the pain. Once more you are crying." -Mark Strand
Re: Incredibly Saddening - any facts??
Reply |
WOW that poem! Jonathan was lucky to have a teacher like you - and your other students.
Thanks for what you shared - I can relate to all of what you wrote. I don't suffer from depression, thank God, but this story made me feel deeply, deeply sad for Jonathan and the kind of world that can close in so horrifically on especially special talented sensitive people.
I will try and reframe that he had a higher purpose was not for this world and that thankfully perhaps many people have been dissuaded fromb68 following his example.
What you say re the shock is true - I think for many of us he was an idol when we were children and that classic exemplar is still firmly in our minds even from so long ago - that beauty and "other worldliness" - so to find out about the ending is shocking and really shook me to the core. I think the childhood link is powerful and why other celebrities are somewhat distanced - Jonathan holds a place in my heart and childhood memories.
Really - that beauty! There is really no comparator.
If you are in touch with his parents I hope you do tell them that many people still think of him and he played a part in their childhoods and he will never be forgotten and he was and is loved.
Thanks for what you shared - I can relate to all of what you wrote. I don't suffer from depression, thank God, but this story made me feel deeply, deeply sad for Jonathan and the kind of world that can close in so horrifically on especially special talented sensitive people.
I will try and reframe that he had a higher purpose was not for this world and that thankfully perhaps many people have been dissuaded fromb68 following his example.
What you say re the shock is true - I think for many of us he was an idol when we were children and that classic exemplar is still firmly in our minds even from so long ago - that beauty and "other worldliness" - so to find out about the ending is shocking and really shook me to the core. I think the childhood link is powerful and why other celebrities are somewhat distanced - Jonathan holds a place in my heart and childhood memories.
Really - that beauty! There is really no comparator.
If you are in touch with his parents I hope you do tell them that many people still think of him and he played a part in their childhoods and he will never be forgotten and he was and is loved.
Re: Incredibly Saddening - any facts??
Reply |
It's a comfort to them that so many people still feel his influence. They know just how madly their son was (and is) legitimately loved, that the love was (and is) real, and maybe Jonathan, wherever he is, knows now too and may finally believe it.
Edited: I was out of town and didn't get a chance to see the video until now.
That was one of the first tribute vids done back in 2004 by a friend who came to Los Angeles in 2003 just to meet Jon at the opening of The Year That Trembled, about a month before he died. She got a picture with him, still circulating around the 'Net.
It's still just beautiful.
This was my first. (Ever.)
https://youtu.be/AlS0F7HyWdg
"You are a strange old man, you know that?" -JB
Edited: I was out of town and didn't get a chance to see the video until now.
That was one of the first tribute vids done back in 2004 by a friend who came to Los Angeles in 2003 just to meet Jon at the opening of The Year That Trembled, about a month before he died. She got a picture with him, still circulating around the 'Net.
It's still just beautiful.
This was my first. (Ever.)
https://youtu.be/AlS0F7HyWdg
"You are a strange old man, you know that?" -JB
Re: Incredibly Saddening - any facts??
Reply |
The video the friend did was absolutely beautiful and yours I just watched is sublime - what amazing tributes. Unreal so full of love.
Re: Incredibly Saddening - any facts??
Reply |
There are literally hundreds. When I said he was "adored" I meant it.
Jonathan must have leaked some kind of addictive drug (even through the camera) because I've seen people first-hand who never met him grieving just as badly as people who knew him. It's real and it's intense.
Why? I don't know.
The very last video I did was the following one, and it's the most personal of any of them. I played piano and strings, my friend (a JB fan and someone who met him a month before his death) did the vocal and her pain is pretty evident5b4.
https://youtu.be/Tmk8oaSPnbQ
No fate but what we make. -Terminator II
Jonathan must have leaked some kind of addictive drug (even through the camera) because I've seen people first-hand who never met him grieving just as badly as people who knew him. It's real and it's intense.
Why? I don't know.
The very last video I did was the following one, and it's the most personal of any of them. I played piano and strings, my friend (a JB fan and someone who met him a month before his death) did the vocal and her pain is pretty evident5b4.
https://youtu.be/Tmk8oaSPnbQ
No fate but what we make. -Terminator II
Re: Incredibly Saddening - any facts??
Reply |
Beautiful video thank you, lovely voice and accompaniment.
Inexplicably and utterly heart breaking.
Inexplicably and utterly heart breaking.
Incredibly Saddening - any facts??
1. The parents mention keeping him grounded, could they not help him to see that a career slump was temporary and even if it wasn't he was precious regardless of the extent that he worked - in awful Hollywood of all places!
2. Could he not see how he was loved regardless of his acting work
3. Having said that - I wonder if another child his age has gone through such intense stardom and then had to deal with not getting "parts" I can't actually think of a young actor with as prolific track record as Jonathan
4. Did he really tell his friends on the night - here's the rope I am going to do it?!
5. Had he run out of money - did the parents not invest for him after all those parts
6. Had he been depressed a long time or was it spur of the moment - incredibly sad to think he felt this way for a long time.
7. What happened to that medium she seemed to have a truly authentic voice?!
8. How could he have just got no work after sea quest - poor choices? No agent? :(
Suffice to say what a sad tragic story. I am friends with his Dad on Facebook and his parents seem ok - going on holidays upbeat basically living. He could have also been alive. He seems like he was an incredibly special kind guy. I hope he is shining and happy in heaven. Just horrifically sad. The aloneness in a room full of people one minute then just ending it. I don't know how anyone who loved him could ever wrap their head around this. - even though he was a distant stranger for me and many others this is so terribly saddening.