Steven Seagal : The most horrible guy I ever met.

I met Steven in 2007 in the uk, he was a guest of a famous British comedy show, I met him after it and asked him to sign my out for justice dvd, he looked me up and Down and said if you don't work on this show get the *beep* out of my face, I was devastated that my childhood hero could make me feel like that, I immediately threw the dvd in the road went home and traded all my seagal DVDs in.

Sorry about that bro.
Guy's a p.o.s. by all accounts.

I had a copy of Out for Justice that had already been signed by Gene LeBell. I saw Seagal coming out of an essential oils wholesaler one day, so I walked up to him and asked him if he'd be kind enough to sign it (I carry it with me wherever I go). He looked me up and down, left and right, and walked around me three times counter clockwise. He then kicked me in the nuts to see if I was wearing a cup and flipped me around several times like a little oriental guy for good measure. He then smiled, informed me that I was one tough SOB and said he would be happy to but then literally passed out and sh!t in his pants when he saw Gene's signature onb68 it.

Monkey with small testicles roar loudest Confucius

I have this copy of Nico, used to take it with me everywhere I go. Met Steven Seagal at a McDonald's and asked him to sign the tape.

He ate it and didn't even 16d0flinch.

Russia can have him.

I once saw him coming out of Subway. He was still hungry, ran into me, accused me of being a sandwich so he chased me for five seconds, ran out of breath, passed out and farted into his moo moo sized martial arts jump suit, which proceeded to inflate with each passing fart. He then floated away into the sunset.

Wow, what a comedian.

I once met Steven at a bar in Montreal. I immediately gave him my Marked for Death DVD for him to sign (I carry it with me all the time), he looked at me left and right, asked if I was hired to kill him cracked my arms, crushed a jagerbomb on my head and said to me: "youre lucky I'm in a good mood". I cried all the way back home, in the taxi and left the DVD with the driver.

You will rise from the ashes of this world !

I once saw steven at a pizza hut, as he was grabbing a whole pan of pizza I ask him to sign my copy of on deadly ground that I was carrying with me the whole time, he smiled then went on an 11 min long rant about how the oil companies are destroying the environment and how we need to use alternate means of renewable energy. from after hearing his speech I fell asleep which he then preceded to kick me in the balls really hard.

One time I met Steven Seagal. I was onboard the final voyage of the USS Missouri before it was set to be decommissioned. I asked Seagal to sign my copy of some movie that he was currently filming (I can't remember the name of it?, but I always carry it with me). Suddenly we were overtaken by a group of terrorists who were trying to steal nuclear warheads and sell them on the black market. I tried to help, but Steven Seagal said "I already have a playboy playmate helping me out, what do I need your sorry a** for?" I was devastated and immediately threw my whole Steven Seagal collection into the water. I jumped overboard and started swimming back to the mainland. I was fortunately picked up by a submarine full of mercenaries on their way to go pick something up? As it stands right now, I am currently onboard, but I hear some kind of commotion up above. It sounds like someone is shooting at us and I hear explosions going off in the water? Probably just some fireworks. This guy named Gary Busey is with us and boy is he eccentric!