S.W.A.T. : 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

OK, I'll start this one off:

1 - LAPD is sponsored by Dr Pepper

2 - You can get a knife through aiport security if you say it was a present from your Father

3 - If your car has a broken tail light (it always will if you are trying not to be noticed by the police) the police will always pull you over and demand to see your id

4 - If the SWAT team has screwed up recently, the obvious thing to do is put together a new elite SWAT team

5 - Elite SWAT teams should always contain 5 members - preferably including some who have history/bad blood, a good looking woman, a rapper who can't run properly and a traitor - oh, and also include the disgraced former SWAT team member whos screw up led to the creation of the elite team

6 - The best person to head up this team is a retired guy who you hate

7 - If you disagree with the choice of the team, back down immediately

8 - If your girlfriend is packing her bags to leave you - don't ask why, just kiss her on the forehead and do a training montage

9 - Baddies are always foreign

10 - The media will not only repeatedly show the bad guy offering to pay $100,000,000 to anyone who will free him, but also repeatedly confirm the fact that he is definitely good for the money

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.


11. Even tho its clear that ratting out your partner will get you back on swat immedietly, spending 6 months in the cage will still make you look suspicious..

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.


12. once you help the rich guy escape, collect your money and become a international fugitive, your number 1 thing on the to do list will be to get lakers courtside seats.

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

Hilarious!! Where's the other 90 things you learned??

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

The way these threads work is that everyone fill in as many as they can think of.

Light travels faster than sound,
that's why people seem bright,
until you hear them.

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

a rapper who can't run properly? really? hmmm.. he ran just FINE to me.

13. Forget that your shift's been over for 12 hours... What the hell? Mount up!

14. Don't beat someone so badly that you can't get a rematch.


**Michael.JACKSON**

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Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

20. Bankrobbers will always be constantly in a rage/panic/both spectacularly incompetent (i.e; shouting "shut up I'm thinking!") in comparison to the professional SWAT team despite being armed to the teeth and having had plenty of planning time and resources.

21. The best way to blow a gate off it's hinges is with a mine as no other cutting tools are practical.

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.


16. Michelle Rodriguez hates when kids play with hoola hoops (anyone catch that part??)


I just watched that part - are you referring to how she walked right in front of that girl that was doing a hoola hoop twirl? It was like she was told a stage direction and did it without considering her surroundings.

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

22. A limo catches up with a Learjet no problem.

23. A limo gets special armor against exploded vehicles and bullets if main characters are on board.

24. Spite the fact that you can use explosives to block their persuit, or use it in an ambush. It is mean to not give them a chance.

25. It is not idiotic to send every available unit to the airport and not issue a city-wide APB on inusual activity or Gamble.

26. It is very american to send a motorcade through the main streets of LA, spite the fact you know there are people trying to liberate. That does not endanger civilians at all.

27. You can sue the PD spite the fact that SWAT saved your sorry *ss. I guess fleshwound is more unacceptable than a bullet in the head shot by criminals. You could totally get millons.

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

28. nobody ever reads the swat board lol

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Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

The one thing I learned was "S.W.A.T. is an excellent film". It's too bad the receipts weren't better, because I would have loved sequels.


http://www.rateyourmusic.com/~JrnlofEddieDeezenStudies

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

29. A bank robber can be shooting an automatic weapon outside the bank without any protective gear for his head and the sniper will not fire until the robber gets into a vehicle

30. The bank robbers can be surrounded by cops have two of their men outside shooting and one of the robbers inside will yell "send out a body to show them we are serious" LOL

sig: I'm actually thinking he should thank Jack, then Cole, then maybe me.

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

31. (This should have been number one) It is completely okay for a group of the most respected and elite of police officers to go out drinking all night and then drive home. This annoyed me more then anything else in the film, that it would advocate driving home after drinking (they're all obviously drunk, all of them are acting silly or "slurring.") in a film where the story line revolves around the most respectable and elite of police officers. Epic fail.

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

I notice this a lot in TV programs and movies.

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

31. (This should have been number one) It is completely okay for a group of the most respected and elite of police officers to go out drinking all night and then drive home. This annoyed me more then anything else in the film, that it would advocate driving home after drinking (they're all obviously drunk, all of them are acting silly or "slurring.") in a film where the story line revolves around the most respectable and elite of police officers. Epic fail.

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

lol I never really caught that. 100% true.

I guess they're trying to appeal younger crowds for being cool (and idiots).

An officer would know that DUI is not tolerated. Nevermind that they are elite group. Any regular cop would know better.

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

32. Even if you have only one bullet in your gun and have a really bad hand wound when your ex-buddy stabbed a knife through it, you should discard the bullet and go against your ex-buddy mano o mano, and not shoot said ex-buddy in the knee cap to teach him not to stab you through the hand.

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

Wow, so many of you are so far off on so many of those..............

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

Not necessarily. I have an old college drinking buddy that's a cop and he got pulled over for a DUI while on a camping trip. So cops drink and drive and make stupid mistakes, just like the rest of us. I've never gotten a DUI before personally, but a few friends of mine have, including the cop obviously.

Well don't just do something, stand there!

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Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

A police captain can mistake a Beretta 92 and a Tec 9... both handguns, for an AK 47 rifle.

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

33 - Sometimes doing the right thing, isn't doing the right thing.

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

34 - A semi-professionally executed (cept for that guy with the shopping cart firing the HK-5 at cops out in the open) snatch and grab operation of approximately 25 or so gangsters which kills one SWAT officer, somehow magically disappears all but 3 of them whom get easily captured or killed when the lead gangster realizes they've been had.

(seriously, the gangsters were able to get a force of two truck loads of gangsters which blocked in the motorcade and did some pretty good cover fire which pinned down the SWAT there and that gang also used smoke grenades for cover. One shot out two LAW rocket launchers which successfully destroyed two cruisers and further trapped the officers inside that were left. Then in the conclusion without any edits of what happened to the other gangsters, all that were left were three of them!?! Great video editing! If this was real life, all those policemen (including the SWAT team) would unfortunately be dead (they were outnumbered and outgunned) even though they never would have gotten the prisoner due to it being a ruse)

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

35. It is possible to obtain a LAPD officer's uniform and car to break out your criminal boss from a LASD prisoner's bus.

36. It's possible for a Leerjet to land and take off from the 6th Street Bridge in Downtown Los Angeles.

You've wasted 5-10 seconds of your time reading this signature I've posted.

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

37. all swat team members have to share a code name involving a number with "David" tagged on the end
38. surprisingly, wading around in a sewer makes you smell like sh!t
39. even though you have been a member of one of the most elte military units in the world you are stll a bit of a mavarick, prone to being unpredictable and head strong.

my best mate ran off with my wife...
i don't 'alf miss 'im

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

Cops that drink french champagne are impressive.

It's apparently very hard to find baby sitters in the LA area.

Financing the development of polish penetrator may be an excellent investment opportunity

The proper police procedure for running through a parade is to remove your baton and twirl it about artfully in your palm.

Halle Berry is hire-able as a yoga instructor for a price lower then 16 million dollars.

Bad Thai-food is an acceptable excuse for tardiness.

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

46. We should remind Michelle Rodriguez to buy some shares in kevlar.

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

47. Hondo does look like I.A. to Sanchez.

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.


The proper police procedure for running through a parade is to remove your baton and twirl it about artfully in your palm.


Lmfao!! I noticed this during the movie and thought 'wtf???'

Paper... snow.... A GHOST!!

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

I picked up on that too, was like dude, you are still way too far away to worry about having you baton out. The hell were they thinking. I believe he was still holding it out after the guy had been caught.

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

48. I can do an application form whilst not watching, and by the end of the film didn't miss anything.

49. A SWAT team sargent will just sit there and ask "So what are you going to do now?" whilst watching one of his crew who has gone over to the dark side holding a gun to his head to commit suicide.

50. When setting a trip grenade on a trap door, always leave enough slack in the wire to enable your enemies to open the door slightly and cut the wire.

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

LOL

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

51. A case of crabs will do that to a woman
52. A straight flush will win in both Compton and orange county
53. You're either SWAT or you're not
54. Hauling another black man to jail perpetuates the cycle
55. You shouldn't trust a man that doesn't eat a real hot dog
56. There are a lot of people stupid enough to believe that a drug lord/murderer will honor his offer of $100 Million for his rescue rather than just kill you for free....


Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

## - Helicopters explode upon impact.

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

58. Sometimes doing the right thing isn't doing the right thing.
59. Hondo has officially felt Caption Fuller, but Fuller has not returned the favor.
60. Samuel L. Jackson knows EXACTLY where a sprinting perp will be three minutes from where he last had visual contact.

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

These are great!

61. The Wiltern Theater has apparently moved to 7th & Flower Sts in downtown L. A.

62. When a bunch of thugs with a high-value escaped prisoner commandeer a Red Line subway train, the train will always use the wrong track.

(granted, you'd only notice the last one if you are familiar with the Red Line, as I am)

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

63. If you join SWAT don't expect to earn $66000 even with overtime.
64. You're a loser if you earn less than $66000.
65. If you have a choice between escorting a criminal underground or escorting out in public then do both - police chiefs are ok with getting mercenaries out of the woodwork even if it means innocent officers get killed.
66. SWAT dont accept bribes in the form of a cheque.
67. Some French criminals will take your life if you take their money.
68. Mexican guys always have a spare rocket launcher lying around.
69. Criminals get together to watch the news channel.
70. Wounding a hostage to save their life will result in a million dollar lawsuit.

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

71. White dudes (except the co-star) are all mean, stupid, untrustworthy, greedy, bad bosses,terrorists, etc... On the other hand all minorities are courageous, smart, deadhonest and love their family and children.

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

@ #70 Welcome to America. Where people make careers from lawsuits.

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

72 (can't believe no one's mentioned this yet) - a SWAT team with one member who turns traitor before committing suicide, one member in ICU in critical condition, and one member with a wounded shoulder will not be sidelined post-crisis, will not have any review by IA, etc. No, they'll be told to complete their original task, and kept awake for another half-day to do it.

73 - the preferred way to transport an international fugitive out of LA when he might be broken out at any minute is by very obviously flying an LAPD helicopter up to the building where everyone knows he's being held pending transport, because attacking a helicopter is such an unreasonable possibility that LAPD has no reason to expect it.

74 - California state prisoners are allowed to watch news coverage of another prisoner being brought in.

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

75. You will get checked for weapons after you arrived with an airplane, not when you boarded it in.

76. A goodfella who is wanted by Interpol in 10 countries has no trouble taking a scheduled flight with a knife in his pocket.

77. It is a good idea to join a gun fight with your special unit that has not slept for 24 h because you are a macho team leader.

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

78. Colin Farrell likes to use his body as an amusement park!!! Yea Baby to that one!!!

Patrick Wayne Swayze You Will Always Be Remembered Always & Forever Buddy 8/18/1952 – 9/14/2009

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

79. It is ok for countless officers to be killed in order to protect an international fugitive wanted for murder and drug trafficking

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

80. Having the back of your head shoved into a mirror by your now-ex-buddy during the breaking up of your friendship will result in the mirror being broken, but your head will be fine and dandy with no cuts nor wounds.

81. Apparently, some crooks put razors in their mouthes to slice up cops manhandling them; Chris Perez experienced this firsthand.

82. When you got your ex-buddy's hand pinned down with a knife and you take his gun, you throw away the gun rather than shoot him with it.

83. 6 months after you quit the police force in 6 months, you'll become a no-good greedy scumbag with murderous thugs for friends and have no qualms with killing people.

84. Being a vegetarian makes you untrustworthy to be a member of a S.W.A.T. team.

Welcome to my Nightmare- Freddy Krueger

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

85. Casual misogyny is okay, aggressive and repeated misogyny is even more okay!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My blog, if you're interested; confirmedhorroraddict@blogspot.co.uk

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

86. That Josh Charles played a corrupt scumbag cop 2 yrs later in Four Brothers and also got awsomely killed
87. that the dude had 100 pounds on me

Re: 100 things I learned from watching S.W.A.T.

88. Bad guy is still a bad guy even after correctly identifying a SWAT officer as a bad seed capable of backstabbing his fellow officers and shooting several of them from point-blank range. Good guys are still good guys and hate this bad guy even after they themselves defended this disgruntled officer to the bone and turned out to be wrong.
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