North & South : Homeward Bound: From Milton to Helstone and Back (a mini-series)

Just a little exploration of the train ride from John's point of view

Homeward Bound: From Milton to Helstone and Back"
(A Mini-Series)

Act One, Scene I



He was her brother!

John Thornton had only one other experience in which his world had rotated and spun in the opposite direction, propelled by the utterance of a single sentence.

Your father is dead.

That sentence had tossed him off the cliff of sanity and sent him spiralling down, downbefore he reached the bottomof himself, of his pain. It was dark and deathly still down there. Would he ever see the light again? He had been vaguely aware of his mothers presence in the darkness. He had reached out to her, and she had grabbed hold of his hand tightly. Not to hold him up, but to keep herself from sinking further into darkness. It was her desperate need that saved him. They had always supported one another during the depressing days of his fathers ignominy. Anger at his betrayal had strengthened them then, and united, they could rail against him to his face. Punishing him with their disdain, they had an outlet for their shame, and he had absorbed it all, barely showing any discomfit at their disappointment. When he took his life, they had none of that. There was no outlet, no satisfaction or comfort in anger. Merely pain. Wave after wave, it pounded them until they could endure no more. In spite of his cool appearance, his father had been able to tolerate the derision of the world, but not that of his family. They might as well have placed the noose around his neck themselves. They had placed it around his neck, there was no denying, and the torment that followed was unbearable.

He had rallied first, and with one thought in mind, to preserve the life of the only parent he had left, he had pulled her to the surface with him. He knew she believed the opposite, that she had rescued him. He had watched her for weeks, worrying himself sick, as she sat by the window, staring out into nothingness, barely speaking or eating, unaware of his fear. It wasnt until he secured the position at the drapers and needed her coaching on how to comport himself that he saw signs that she was over the worst. Little by little, the cloud suspended over her had disintegrated. Finally, the day arrived when he heard her laugh heartily over something or other, and he knew she was safe. Safe, but not unchanged. The poisonous atmosphere of the past several years, watching her husband mislead their acquaintances with half-truths and out-right lies had slowly altered her generally cheerful disposition. She was much more serious after that, and honesty and integrity became her obsession. He never heard her flatter or utter anything but the truthas she saw it. Reacting to the sins of her husband, she had become the conscience of her son. Always tell the truth, John. Always do your best for those you serve. There is no shame in truthfulness. And he had adopted her philosophy completely.

He gazed out the window of the train, not seeing the streaming landscape of the northern hill country as it gave way to the rolling hills and lowlands of the south. He knew the power of the truth. Come what may, truth was an ally; sometimes a brutal ally, but a constant landmark, nevertheless, like a lighthouse in the sea that was life. That is what had hurt him hurt him so deeply when he had proposed to her. He had believed that she only spoke truth that day, and it had nearly killed him to hear it. I do not like youI never have! Brutally honest, she had not toyed with him. Like his mother, she would not say anything she did not feel or know to be the truth. What was he to do with his truth? He loved her passionately. And then he had learned the real truth about her, or so he thought. She was deceitful, a liar. Worse than that, she was unchaste, lascivious. Reliving that realization almost turned his stomach, again, even though he now knew otherwise. His thoughts followed his gut back

Pat, I've just read this and it's lovely.
I got very behind and mixed-up with most of the fanfic and so just gave up. But it's nice to be at the "genesis" of something entirely new that I can, hopefully, keep up with.
You're such a talented writer, Pat. I'm so envious! You really should publish.




If you can't be a good example then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.

First! Ha!!

It's just that it's a thrill not to be behind on a fanfic thread, much less to be the first one here to read it. (I'm sorry, I"m seriously short on thrills these days.)

Okaynow to the story. A lovely introduction to John's thoughts, HF. You've provided interesting background in your comparison of the devastating news of his father's death, and its effect on him and Hannah, to the exhilarating news that it was only "her brother".

"Impure and lascivious"? Oh my, that John Thornton is passionate! I look forward to reading all of his thoughts, right up until that train stops..along with his heart! at its destination.

Bravo, Heartfelt!!


Edit: Forget it. I wasn't first (although look how similar supergran and I were in our post? ) The difference in the time lies in how slow my computer is. Drats!

Hi alfa!
Sorry I pipped you to the post. It's not often I'm first, believe me!
Nice to hear from you, alfa.


If you can't be a good example then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.

You "pipped" me to the post? I take it that's an english expression and it's safe to say I'd rather be "pipped" by you than just anybody!
Thanks, SG, it's great to see you here, too.

Yeahwhat they said!!! Love this! You read my thoughts in writing about John's thoughts. Nice thinkingyeah, I know. I'm lame. But I have always wondered what he was thinking during that train ride and then when he got there and found those rosesand then that train ride home w/Mags!!! Wooohooo!! I'm excited! I'm not behind either..not the first, but definitely, not behind.

Yikes! Ladies, youve made my evening! I rattled off that little blurb this afternoon between customers, and it was a bit eery. No struggle, not thinking really, just in Johns head! Nice place to be, I must say! Came home and cooked , cleanup up the kitchen and I just emptied the dishwasher and thought Id check to see if anyone took a peek, and there you were! Thanks so much!

Janet, thanks for giving this story a go! I dont think it will be very long; maybe two or three acts, so I hope that doesnt disappoint you. Sometimes its nice to fill in the blanks with what could have been, especially when it shows what could have lead up to such a climactic scene as the kiss! It just dawned on me this morning to try this while responding to a comment by coira on The Kiss thread that John deserved such an obvious sign from Margaret (the hand-kiss) after she had treated him so badly.

Janet, I hope you decide to give the fan-fic another chance. First of all, because I think you will enjoy it since our stories follow on the heels of the dvd which you love. Second, because it represents such effort and love on our parts, it would bless our socks off if you read our stuff. To avoid confusion, check out the Table of Contents thread which contains a step by step how to with the longer stories. Thanks again, Janet!

Alfa, you will always be first with me! Thanks for the typo heads-up! You always watch my back, and I appreciate it so much! I honestly dont know where the your father is dead idea came from, but once it came to me I just went with itlets hope it it doesnt drive off us the cliff, lol! (sounds kinda like pig-latin!) And pipping the post! That expression must make it into one of the fan-fics! Maybe when Margaret is waiting for Frederick's letter. She could pip the post out of her fathers hands? Inaccurate usage, Janet?

Fussy, last, but DEFINITELY not least!! Did I read your thoughts on Johns feelings, Fuss, or just that you had the idea that his thoughts should be written? If its the former, maybe we have esp! Where should the story head next? Ok , Im waitingwaitingFussy are you sleeping? Im not getting anything from you! Im glad you like this tiny story, Fuss!

YEs, YESS, yeshis thoughts neededhad to beMUST be written! Can I live until the next post? gasp!!

Pat, it was a lovely chapter, thank you! I think the ladies have said all before me - it's amazing and I can't wait for the next! :)

Ary

This was great You truly have a gift with words. I particularly liked this part:

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He had watched her for weeks, worrying himself sick, as she sat by the window, staring out into nothingness, barely speaking or eating, unaware of his fear. It wasnt until he secured the position at the drapers and needed her coaching on how to comport himself that he saw signs that she was over the worst. Little by little, the cloud suspended over her had disintegrated. Finally, the day arrived when he heard her laugh heartily over something or other, and he knew she was safe.

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And poor John, having to watch his mother go through all that. He's so incredibly sweet and caring, watching out for those around him.

What do you mean find yourself a man? I've got Thornton, Darcy, Knightley, Wentworth

Ima! YOU are last!

No, never, my friend! One of my favorite encouragers!

Ima, in this story, I'm not trying too hard to linger over the wording, that is, I'm not trying to make is sound particularly "19th century Victorian-style English", which is a shift in gears. It's more contemporary, which I think is fine when trying to relate someone's thoughts. We don't usually think in "paragraphs", lol, but in short clips and abbreviated thoughts, giving the reader credit for being able to read between the lines. Actually, I'm trying to do this in the longer stories, too, and it's not easy! I tend to be verbose!

Ima, thanks again for pointing out a quote. I just love when you do that!

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Ima! YOU are last! []

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I know! I'm usually one of the first, which is actually an indication that I have way too much free time on my hands so I tend to be on this board a lot

What do you mean find yourself a man? I've got Thornton, Darcy, Knightley, Wentworth

I'm late again to the party. Well and truly "pipped to the post"!

That was a really lovely start Pat, beautifully written as usual. I've often wondered what was going through John's mind on that train journey. Can't wait for more!

Dogs have owners, Cats have staff!

Act One, Scene 2

He could not look away as the man clasped her in a passionate embrace. Her eyes were closed - her arms, wound around the his waist; his hands, pressed against the small of her back holding her against his him. The voyeur felt as if he had been struck by lightning. His heart jolted in his chest, blood rushed to his head and he felt hot with fury. Uncontrollable, murderous fury. He stared as her eyes opened, unfocused ecstasy etched on her face as tears trickled down her cheeks, and he wanted to roar, Shes mine! It was as if she heard him. Her eyes opened wide, and she drew back and stared at him. Their passion interrupted, the man turned and stared at him also. He was young, very youngand handsome, and he hated the sight of him.

When the train had pulled into the station earlier, he had started awake, exhausted after a long day in Liverpool on business. Now, wide awake, he walked like a man driven by demons. Unaware of his course, he left the station far behind and climbed to the heights above Milton, guided only by the light of a half-moon. Finally, he arrived at a destination to which he had fled when his father died, and thereafter, when he needed to escape the cares of the world and to think - a stone wall that bordered the edge of the cemetery. He sat down heavily, almost numb, and watched the city go to sleep, lights blinking off, one by one, just as the light had gone out in his life - for the second time. How many times would he allow her to hurt him?


~


After she had rejected him, he tried tried to hate her. The more he tried, the worse his condition became - he was obsessed, haunted by the thought that the woman he adored would never be his his. Eventually, he gave up trying to forget her. He simply couldnt stop loving her. Like a man who visits an opium den desperate to numb unreachable pain, he anesthetized himself in erotic fantasy, conjuring up how it would be between them, her eyes glazed in ecstasy because of his touch - as they had been with the stranger.

He examined their every encounter and came to the conclusion that he had approached her too soon. She was far too independent and self-assured to rush into a marriage simply to quiet the tittle-tattle of Milton gossips. She would only consent to marry a man whom she loved deeply. He knew that she didnt care for him in that way. Not yet, at least. He often tried to imagine how it would feel if she returned his love, and every time, it was glorious. Although it seemed like a pipe dream, he was spurred on to hope that he might have a second chance with her because of one pervading conviction: she was young and inexperienced and did not know her own heart. Not immodestly, he was aware of the effect he had on women and knew the visceral signs a woman gave when she found him attractive. It was not something he thought about consciously, since it was a phenomenon of more than a decades duration, and he had grown accustomed to it. Now and then, he became vaguely aware that he had been touched, stroked, as it were, by the gaze of an admiring woman, and his intuition was hardly ever wrong. He had experienced this on the night of the dinner party. She had smiled and nodded, beckoning him, her eyes caressing his face, drawing him. When he had been called away by one of the mill owners, he saw how she looked back at him, as she was lead in the opposite direction by Bell. The yearning and regret he saw in her eyes had intoxicated him. From that moment he wanted those eyes and all that lay behind them for his own and whether she realized it or not, he knew she wanted him.



Then an image of her expression, adoring, as she looked at the man at the station before resting her cheek against his, cut through his reverie like a knife. That she had given herself to the man, there was no doubt in his mind. Their embrace was unrestrained. Their intimacy, palpable. She had rested in his armsin the arms of her lover. And she had tried to hide this side of her character, posing as a virtuous woman, above reproach, while denouncing him as a lesser man simply because he was in trade. He despised her.

Hi Ima! I just realized I had posted the new scene in the middle of the thread instead of at the end, which could make things confusing, so I deleted the first version of Scene 2 and reposted it here. You might want to move your response here as well, otherwise it will be "floating" in space, lol! Thanks for the encouragement! Will be more specific soon!

Wow! This is getting better and better!

Dogs have owners, Cats have staff!

You are really ramping up his passion, HF! He's the best kind of man, isn't he? Obsessed! I love it!!

I"m glad you mentioned the dinner party scene and how Margaret looked back at him.that was the moment.

Yes, I do believe that Thornton was more than capable of reading a woman's reaction to him. He didn't read Margaret incorrectly, she just didn't recognize, or was unwilling to admit, the attraction herself.

I have to go open a window nowcool off.

Wow Pat, love it! I think I'll have to cool off too - though I don't think I'll open the window as it's turned pretty chilly now. Winter draws in

What a great thing to read, esp after a few hours of lurid, graphic "Germinal", ugh. Oh how passionate JT is. I'm just about to do more work on the Baby Thornton story & I've kind of got an idea through this scene just how - well, I blush to say it & I hope I'm not being crude, but the night this child was created must have been well fun

Hope to read more! (And pleasey-weasey-weasey post new chapter of "HOH" when you can! Just for your poor depressed little friend who's struggling with uni work. )


What Glasgow says today, the rest of the world tries to pronounce tomorrow

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I've kind of got an idea through this scene just how - well, I blush to say it & I hope I'm not being crude, but the night this child was created must have been well fun []

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Cat! I'm shocked!

What do you mean find yourself a man? I've got Thornton, Darcy, Knightley, Wentworth

I know, I'm disgraceful. (I've done rather a lot of blushing today! More so than my average Ben chapter, lol.) But come on, I've heard a couple of not-so-innocent comments from you in your time - & I don't think anyone's going to tell us off for, well, fancying the "N&S" guys.


What Glasgow says today, the rest of the world tries to pronounce tomorrow

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But come on, I've heard a couple of not-so-innocent comments from you in your time

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guilty as charged . I just had to tease you about it, though, because I certainly did not expect such a comment to come from you!

What do you mean find yourself a man? I've got Thornton, Darcy, Knightley, Wentworth

Great job again I was so happy to find this next scene posted. I know how much you love me pointing out quotes, before I even began reading I hit the "reply" button and recorded my thoughts as I read. I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed this scene

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he wanted to roar, Shes mine!

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At this part I totally got a mental picture of this actually happening - John roaring out and running across the train station to start pummeling Frederick the same way he did Stephens Frederick's lucky all he got was a scowl

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He was young, very youngand handsome, and he hated the sight of him.

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awww his jealousy is adorable

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Like a man frequenting an opium den, desperate to stop the pain, he anesthetize himself in erotic fantasy, conjuring up how it would be between them, her eyes glazed in ecstasy because of his touch.

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oh my.

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he was aware of the effect he had on women and the visceral signs a woman gave when she found him attractive

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I think the activity on this board is a a good indication of the effect he has on women

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He despised her.

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no! You don't understand, John! You don't know the whole story! Just let her explain, then you can have that "erotic fantasy" with "her eyes glazed in ecstasy" because of your touch!



What do you mean find yourself a man? I've got Thornton, Darcy, Knightley, Wentworth

Pat, this is very intense, indeed! I like it very much and look forward to reading more!







There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart.

OK I'm really late to the game and pipped by everybody but DANG the sex'o'meter went off the chart here, Heartfelt!

Apoplectic seizures, palpitations, hot flashes, the works!

He loved her passionately.


she (=Margaret) was unchaste, lascivious.

I thought only priests use "unchaste" but then I remembered that John is a saint. - "lascivious", too. I have no idea what that means but it sounds naughty. It sounds like involves dim lights, seedy propositions and a LOT of bare skin *squee* off to do some 'research'.
Lascivious is fit to be printed in an ordinary dictionary, isn't it?

And then this:
Like a man frequenting an opium den, desperate to stop the pain, he anesthetize himself in erotic fantasy, conjuring up how it would be between them, her eyes glazed in ecstasy because of his touch.

"Eyes glazed in ecstasy" Lascivious eyes by any chance?

All I wanted to do after having read this is to roar "He's mine!"

Just pass the bucket with the cold water, PLEASE!

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Ary said: Pat, it was a lovely chapter, thank you! I think the ladies have said all before me - it's amazing and I can't wait for the next! :)

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Hi Ary! Im sorry I didnt respond to your kind post on Scene 1! Writing this little interval has been so much fun since I feel much less constrained as far as style. Our thoughts and impressions, or rather, Johns thoughts and impressions, are quick and concise, and get to the core of his emotions without flowery language getting in the way. More contemporary! Im glad you like it!


Ary, on a different thread you inquired about the use of if and would in the same sentence, as in Margarets statement, If you would take the money . Grammatically, it is not correct, but speech takes on a life of its own, as you know, and we often say things in a way that we would never express on paper. Ive noticed in period books, mostly in Austens works, that the use of the words would and will are used interchangeably, often to express to want to do something when used in spoken form. Sometimes it expresses a persistent, even stubborn desire to do something. I tried unsuccessfully to find an example from Austens works on-line, so Ill just make up an example of my own. Lydia was discouraged from chasing after the officers, but she would go to Merriton, nevertheless. Would in this instance refers to her stubborn will to do something. I think Margarets speech to John meant, If you are willing to take the money, or If you find yourself willing to take the money at some point in the future (the sooner, the better, lol, because Im in love with you and cant wait another moment until you kiss me!). I think adding would was a bashful, yet diplomatic way for Margaret to encourage him to borrow her money and make it seem as if he was doing her the favor. If you would (find it in your heart to be willing) to do this (for me), I would be so obliged!

Perhaps someone has already disussed this, but I havent read every post, so I thought I would add my two cents worth, since your observation interested me, too.

Thanks for reading, Ary!

Re: Scene 2

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Laura said: Wow! This is getting better and better!

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Thanks, Laura! Lets hope I can keep it up or , as Cat likes to say, lets hope the muse doesnt desert me!

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Alfa said: You are really ramping up his passion, HF! He's the best kind of man, isn't he? Obsessed! I love it!!

I"m glad you mentioned the dinner party scene and how Margaret looked back at him.that was the moment.

Yes, I do believe that Thornton was more than capable of reading a woman's reaction to him. He didn't read Margaret incorrectly, she just didn't recognize, or was unwilling to admit, the attraction herself.

I have to go open a window nowcool off.

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Thanks, Alfa!
I see Thornton as a passionate character: cool and calm on the outside, but seething or brimming with unspent passion on the inside. Nothing luke warm about him, hence the beating of Stephen and his anguished I dont wish to possess you! I want to marry you because I love you!, yelled fiercely at the top of his lungs, lol!

Did the open window help?

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Cat said: Wow Pat, love it! I think I'll have to cool off too - though I don't think I'll open the window as it's turned pretty chilly now. Winter draws in

What a great thing to read, esp after a few hours of lurid, graphic "Germinal", ugh. Oh how passionate JT is. I'm just about to do more work on the Baby Thornton story & I've kind of got an idea through this scene just how - well, I blush to say it & I hope I'm not being crude, but the night this child was created must have been well fun

Hope to read more! (And pleasey-weasey-weasey post new chapter of "HOH" when you can! Just for your poor depressed little friend who's struggling with uni work. )

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Thanks, Cat! I honestly didnt expect to get things so heated up. I mean, a little bit, perhaps, but not to the throwing-the-window-open extent, lol! Your wish was my command: ch. 6 posted on HOH yesterday!



Ima said:

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"he wanted to roar, 'Shes mine!'

At this part I totally got a mental picture of this actually happening - John roaring out and running across the train station to start pummeling Frederick the same way he did Stephens Frederick's lucky all he got was a scowl

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That would have been quite a scene! I dont think Margaret would ever forgive John for beating her brother!Thank goodness he controlled himself!


And then:

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"Like a man frequenting an opium den, desperate to stop the pain, he anesthetize himself in erotic fantasy, conjuring up how it would be between them, her eyes glazed in ecstasy because of his touch."

oh my.

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Well, if he sends tingles down our spines, he must be entitled to feel the same about someone, too, dont you think?

And:

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"he was aware of the effect he had on women and the visceral signs a woman gave when she found him attractive"

Ima said: I think the activity on this board is a a good indication of the effect he has on women

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Do you think so? Thanks, Ima!

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Ani said: Pat, this is very intense, indeed! I like it very much and look forward to reading more!

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Thank you, Ani! Yes, this was an intense period in Johns life, going from love to disappointment to obsession to contempt to shock to love again! Poor man! Thanks for reading, Ani!

Re: Scence 2/the sexometer

Coira said:

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OK I'm really late to the game and pipped by everybody but DANG the sex'o'meter went off the chart here, Heartfelt!

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Youre making me blush, Coira! "Sexometer off the chart", and yet everyone involved remained clothed! How can that be?

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she (=Margaret) was unchaste, lascivious.

I thought only priests use "unchaste" but then I remembered that John is a saint. - "lascivious", too. I have no idea what that means but it sounds naughty. It sounds like involves dim lights, seedy propositions and a LOT of bare skin *squee* off to do some 'research'.
Lascivious is fit to be printed in an ordinary dictionary, isn't it?

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yes, it's in the dictionary, Coira!

According to the dictionary, unchaste means not chaste. Thats not too helpful, so I looked up chaste. It means:
a : abstention from unlawful sexual intercourse
b : abstention from all sexual intercourse
c : purity in conduct and intention
d : restraint and simplicity in design or expression

I think for our purposes, definitions a and c might apply to Johns view of what he assumes Margarets involvement is with the man at the station. Unlawful intercourse would be the act of a woman having sex before marriage. Double standard, I know, but thats how it was. Purity in conduct and intentionshe meets men late at nightwith obvious lascivious intentions. Oh yes, lascivious: one definition is, sexually active in an unpleasant way. In this case, John thinks that Margaret, while maintaining a "holier than though" attitude in public, is sexually active, sneaking around in dark, out-of-the-way placeslascivious!

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And then this:
Like a man frequenting an opium den, desperate to stop the pain, he anesthetized himself in erotic fantasy, conjuring up how it would be between them, her eyes glazed in ecstasy because of his touch."

"Eyes glazed in ecstasy" Lascivious eyes by any chance?

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Oh, no! He would never consider Margaret to be lascivious with him! Loving, amourous, aggressive even, but not lascivious because she would be his wife. Since he is so frustrated at not having Margaret for his own, he sees her through the eyes of his passion. Her innocent embrace of her brother is exaggerated ten-fold in his eyes. Her tears of sadness are tears of ecstasy in his tortured, jealous mind. Hes gotta get grip!

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All I wanted to do after having read this is to roar "He's mine!"

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I had a real belly laugh at that, Coira! Thanks, it felt great!

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Just pass the bucket with the cold water, PLEASE!

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Gladly! This "hot and bothered" reaction by the ladies proves my theory that in some cases, a subtle suggestion can be very sexy. Thanks for the feedback, Coira!

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I have no idea what that means but it sounds naughty. It sounds like involves dim lights, seedy propositions and a LOT of bare skin *squee* off to do some 'research'.
Lascivious is fit to be printed in an ordinary dictionary, isn't it? []

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Lascivious is one of those words I absolutely love. I know that sounds really weird, but it is one of my favorite words, not because of its meaning, but because it almost sounds like the meaning. It's one of those words that is just so perfect when you have a chance to use it.

What do you mean find yourself a man? I've got Thornton, Darcy, Knightley, Wentworth

Great post Coira; gave me a huge giggle! And HF is the ultimate educator, sex and more! Who knew? (That was a wonderful answer to Ary's question.) I'm learning all kinds of stuff on this thread. I would like more chapters, please.

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Lascivious is one of those words I absolutely love. I know that sounds really weird, but it is one of my favorite words, not because of its meaning, but because it almost sounds like the meaning. It's one of those words that is just so perfect when you have a chance to use it.

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You're absolutely right, Ima. Just saying the word conjures up images. I think it's the "sssss" sound, it sounds like sssssex or a ssssssnake. Great word. Great observation.

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And HF is the ultimate educator, sex and more! Who knew? []

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Maybe I should write a lovelorn column!

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You're absolutely right, Ima. Just saying the word conjures up images. I think it's the "sssss" sound, it sounds like sssssex or a ssssssnake. Great word. Great observation. []

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I thought the same thing. All those s'ssss!

Working on the next ssscene as we ssspeak, Alfa!

Holy cow, HF! I'm not sure who needs the cold shower more Me or JT!
Will be anxiously awaiting the next installment! (now I"m off to read it again!)

I'm baaaack~ and you gals, oh my, you're getting out of control! In a good way, of course. However, I was expecting the next installation to have been posted in my absence and durned if Miz HF aka The Grand Czarina of Milton Erotic Philosophy and Education 101 has procrastinatedor maybe she's teasing us? Whateverget in gear girl. We're waiting with baited breath, tapping fingers and crossed toes. Off to find an ample supply of cotton towels for drool, battery-operated fans and bottled cold waterwhew!

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I see Thornton as a passionate character: cool and calm on the outside, but seething or brimming with unspent passion on the inside.

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Ooh they're my favourite kind of guys - just about every hero I've ever written about (since I developed hormones anyway) has been like that, including my fanfic heroes, bar a certain handsome aristocrat whom I secretly call Mr Lover Lover. Sorry, getting carried away by all the sensuality on this thread!

Pat, what's happening to you & me? I thought we were the queens of the subtle love scene & now suddenly we've got this story from you & I'm having naughty thoughtsooh-erI agree with what you said earlier, subtle is definitely sexy, but this is pretty damn sexy too! Ooh goodness, I'm feeling very warm now. By the time I post my second chapter narrating a certain honeymoon on my own thread, at the end of this week - well, if I keep reading this sort of thing, it might be a very different scene to the one it is just now!

Now bring on the cold water


What Glasgow says today, the rest of the world tries to pronounce tomorrow

Naughty Girls, if you think this naughty, then you probably havent read many romances But I also prefer this "kind" of naughtiness.

Cat, look forward to read more of A+Es honeymoon,too!








There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart.

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bar a certain handsome aristocrat whom I secretly call Mr Lover Lover.

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OMG, Cat - that is great! This comment just totally made my day

What do you mean find yourself a man? I've got Thornton, Darcy, Knightley, Wentworth

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Brit wrote: Holy cow, HF! I'm not sure who needs the cold shower more Me or JT!
Will be anxiously awaiting the next installment! (now I"m off to read it again!)

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Thanks, Brit! Glad you are enjoying it.

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Fussy wrote: I'm baaaack~ and you gals, oh my, you're getting out of control! In a good way, of course. However, I was expecting the next installation to have been posted in my absence and durned if Miz HF aka The Grand Czarina of Milton Erotic Philosophy and Education 101 has procrastinatedor maybe she's teasing us? Whateverget in gear girl. We're waiting with baited breath, tapping fingers and crossed toes. Off to find an ample supply of cotton towels for drool, battery-operated fans and bottled cold waterwhew!

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Welcome back, Fussy! How was Texas? Will attempt to get my act in gear!

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Catriona said: Sorry, getting carried away by all the sensuality on this thread!

Pat, what's happening to you & me? I thought we were the queens of the subtle love scene & now suddenly we've got this story from you & I'm having naughty thoughtsooh-erI agree with what you said earlier, subtle is definitely sexy, but this is pretty damn sexy too!

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Thanks, Cat, (I guess!) There isnt anything explicit here, Cat! How does one describe what John was going through and ignore his passion?

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Ani said: Naughty Girls, if you think this naughty, then you probably havent read many romances But I also prefer this "kind" of naughtiness.

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Thank you, Ani!! I appreciate your interpretation that my little story is tame compared to some romances.

I am amused and curious about the reaction to this chapter, not displeased, mind you, just surprised!

Is it because John Thornton fantasized about Margaret?

The way I see it, he loved her madly, and naturally, loving her physically was a very strong desire in him that became even stronger when it looked as if it would never be fulfilled. It seemed plausible to me that he totally misinterpreted what he witnessed at the station in his heartbroken and sexually frustrated state, viewing it all through a sexual lens.

This interpretation is supported by the book, where we learn that after the train station episode with her brother, he began to think of Margaret as a sexual creature in an exaggerated way, imagining or dreaming of her dancing toward him in a sensuous manner. It is also supported by the film in which he practically accused her of sexual indiscretions to her face.

I think its not too much of a stretch to assume that John Thornton was obsessed with Margaret and consumed with self-loathing for his weakness where she was concerned, hence his vehement declaration, I hope you realize that any foolish passion for you on my part is entirely over! a classic case of me thinks he doth protest too much. What do you think?

Please believe me that I am flattered by this attention. I just didn't expect it!

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a classic case of me thinks he doth protest too much

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Exactly!

The idea of JT fantasizing about Margaret is absolutely supported by both the book and the movie. For me, dear HF, it is the absolute pleasure of reading your descriptions of the marital union as something sacred and holy in MM&B - which I absolutely agree with - but also being able to eloquently handle the physical drive that is part of that union. Well, let's just say you carried it off wonderfully! We know JT we know he's a strong, noble, virtuous man to glimpse his interior struggle with a little more detail than Mrs. Gaskell is willing to give us is well delicious!

On some level, we all know as women what we suffer (even if it's been a few years) in unrequited love. But a man's inner journey is foreign territory. Perhaps that's what draws us to it?!

And really what other explanation could JT have come to other than to think Frederick was Margaret's lover?? In the absence of the truth it is easy to see how he misunderstood what he saw!

The preface to my book version of N&S has a very sexualized interpretation of the events of the story, which may be very academic, but it misses the point that JT's desire is fueled by a deep, passionate, and mature love. That fact makes me sympathetic to the physical torment in a way that would be absent if his attraction to Margaret was purely physical.

Now I'll have to go watch the train station scene just so JT can get some sleep!

OHand let me just say there is something surprisingly sexy about JT having a bit of insight to his own
a-ni-mal magnetism. He is so self-depreciating in thinking he is not worthy of Margaret, it is good to see him exude a little well-deserved confidence. Even if it doesn't seem to be working out at the moment!

Now really going to bed

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Thanks, Cat, (I guess!) There isnt anything explicit here, Cat! How does one describe what John was going through and ignore his passion?

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Pat, it wasn't a criticism, honestly! Obviously my power of words is not functioning very well just now, please don't think I'm not really enjoying it, I think it's fab! I wouldn't expect anyone to ignore John's passion - & why the heck would we WANT to???

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Girls, if you think this naughty, then you probably havent read many romances

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Depends how one defines "romance", Ani, genres of literature are always being redefined. (And that comes right from my coursework. Glad to know something is sticking! ) Kissing & the internal passion that Pat's writing about here is fine with me, I love it, but If I'm reading a book & come to the start of a sex scene, I tend to skip through it, I get a little embarrassed.

Right, not the sort of thing to be thinking about just before one has to go revise "Dracula" - which, incidentally, is mainly a story about sex, if you listen to various critics. Maybe that's how this whole craze for finding vampires sexy all began.


What Glasgow says today, the rest of the world tries to pronounce tomorrow

Girls, I didnt mean to sound disrespectful It probably has something to do with my recent liking for reading romantic novels, by J.Quinn and L.Kleypas And they are historical, but a bit sensuous, you know(?)
Well, as it is said: if you miss something in your life, you tend to compensate it with stuff like thisAnd I do feel like it myself, hmm.

Cat, I understand your tendency to avoid reading sex scenes in the books. I also get a little embarrassed, but it doesnt prevent me from reading it, I have to admit

I presume we all see both John and Margaret as passionate beings, and I think their physical relationship would be intense too. I imagine it would be all the more beauitful because of their deep love for each other.

I have read many N&S fanfics that described their marital union very lustfully.
I however like more tender and subtle language in this case, so I find Cat+Pats writings delightful!








There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart.

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Girls, I didnt mean to sound disrespectful [] It probably has something to do with my recent liking for reading romantic novels, by J.Quinn and L.Kleypas [] And they are historical, but a bit sensuous, you know(?)

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I LOVE Julia Quinn, Ani, she's one of my fave authors & I adore all her heroes. (I like to think my Edward's a bit like one of the Bridgertons, if you've read that series.) They are very sensuous books, & while there are sex scenes, I don't mind them cos they're not overly explicit, the emphasis is on the passionate love rather than the graphic detail. I do read them quite quickly though, otherwise I DO get a little embarrassed.

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Well, as it is said: if you miss something in your life, you tend to compensate it with stuff like thisAnd I do feel like it myself, hmm. []

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I guess I compensate for it with fanfic, writing about gorgeous passionate men. That's fine with me for now.


What Glasgow says today, the rest of the world tries to pronounce tomorrow

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"Dracula" - which, incidentally, is mainly a story about sex, if you listen to various critics. Maybe that's how this whole craze for finding vampires sexy all began.

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Have you ever seen the movie version of Dracula starring Gary Oldman? That is highly sexualized. It was an absolutely amazing movie - visually stunning and with a very good use of shadow - but there were extremely awkward sex scenes, especially as I was watching it with a male friend. Too awkward.

What do you mean find yourself a man? I've got Thornton, Darcy, Knightley, Wentworth

I watched it before my course & I FREAKED!!! I was like, "Mum, I don't want to do this course anymore!" My instinct to watch it on a sunny morning rather than before going to bed was spot on!


What Glasgow says today, the rest of the world tries to pronounce tomorrow

Yeah, I watched it on the night of Halloween last year, and I had trouble sleeping that night.

What do you mean find yourself a man? I've got Thornton, Darcy, Knightley, Wentworth

Ugh, I bet you did. Speaking of Halloween, need to choose a costume for this year, Brownies Halloween party only a few weeks away.


What Glasgow says today, the rest of the world tries to pronounce tomorrow

I have a white dress/nightgown I bought at a thriftstore a few years ago that's very regency-period. I tend to wear that and put my hair up in a bun and go as a regency-era woman.

Last year I couldn't find my dress, though, so I wore a plain black dress, stuffed some black socks with newspaper and pinned them to my sides, and wore a black hat w/ veil and black gloves. I was a black widow. One of my favorite costumes

What do you mean find yourself a man? I've got Thornton, Darcy, Knightley, Wentworth

I saw "Dracula" with Gary Oldman, too. Many years ago for the first timeI dont like horrors, but this one is almost artistic masterpiece, IMO. F.F.Coppola did a great job here, I think. I have never read an original book, this has been enough for me! So, tough nerves, Cat!

As to Julia Quinn, I have read only 3 of her books so far, I know she wrote a series about Bridgerton siblingsAt the moment Im reading "Duke&I", I really enjoy it. I also read "On the way to the wedding" and "Secret diaries of Miss Miranda Cheever". Ive ordered some of her other books, so Im looking forward to it.
My mum has been telling me off for reading such stuff, but I cant help myself!
Cat, Id recommend you Lisa Kleypass books, they are also rather good. Funny and fairly historically accurate, I think.

As to the scenes, I prefer reading about it in the books than seeing them in the filmsIts more up to ones imagination and its nicer, I believe.







There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart.

"The Duke & I" is the first of the Bridgerton series - I think my Edward's like the oldest one, Anthony, & his story's next in the series, "The Viscount Who Loved Me". My favourite's the 4th one, "Romancing Mr Bridgerton", I think I'm rather like the heroine, Penelope. When you read it, you'll probably understand why!

"Miranda Cheever" always reminds me of Lugano, where my latest fanfic is set, cos I was there in summer 2007, the year it came out, & I saw it in a shop there - in English! I was really pleased, cos it hadn't arrived in the UK yet. Mum didn't get why I was so excited! She knows I read period books, but has NO IDEA of some of the stuff that happens in them - doubt she'd care though, I'm 26 after all!

Ima, love the idea of going as a regency woman, but I don't think I've got a suitable frock. David at the cafe says he's always thought I had a Snow White quality (big eyes & not-too-long dark hair, aw) but I don't know where the heck I'd find a blue & yellow dress - not to mention seven small men & some singing animals.


What Glasgow says today, the rest of the world tries to pronounce tomorrow