Commando : 100 things Iu00b4ve learned from Commando

Re: 100 things Iu00b4ve learned from Commando

297: Always keep a fully stocked and updated toolshed with loaded assault rifles.

298: If lacking any firearms in your toolshed, gardening tools and hardware are an excellent substitute for scalping, impaling, and amputating your victims in a manner of your choosing.

Re: 100 things Iu00b4ve learned from Commando

299.Retired stormtroopers become solders for Dan Hedaya.

Re: 100 things Iu00b4ve learned from Commando

Christ this thread is funny! I learnt the same valuable lessons that you guys did from watching the deep, multi-layered action thriller that is Commando, but the ones that stick in my mind mostly are:

Deposed dictators will only hire as their personal guard mustachioed utter incompetents who can't shoot straight but are experienced in cutting little girl's throats. Being loyal is all that matters and to hell with skill and moral codes.

Matrix doesn't understand a country like Val Verde.

If you screw up while on a mission for a deposed dictator he will mail your kids to you in pieces.

Badly lit bars in shopping malls are a great place 'for hunting slash' and for handing over brief cases stuffed with cash.

Police who are driving vans won't notice if you blow up a shop with a rocket launcher.

Being an ex-service man means you completely abandon all sense of right and wrong if given a fat pay cheque, and you will happily joke about raping little girls.

A cotton vest designed to look like chainmail, leather chaps and a dodgy 'tache are appropriate attire if one is setting out on a path of vengeance.

You can eat Green Beret's for breakfast but you will still be very hungry.

If you are ex-special forces the dustbin men collecting your rubbish may well gun you down in the street.

You can safely murder the person sitting next to you on a long distance flight if you remember to bring along with you a hat and blanket.

The thing you must like the most about a car about to be used in a deadly hit and run is 'the price'.

Re: 100 things Iu00b4ve learned from Commando

313. Nothin' like good ol' war buddies.

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Re: 100 things Iu00b4ve learned from Commando

327: Commando's male cast blew so much money on 'slash hunts' organised by David Patrick Kelly while off set that they could only afford cardboard cut out soldiers when Matrix remote detonated his claymores.

328: The stunt drivers for Sully and Matrix look even less like their respective characters than the wide shouldered, hairy legged dude who doubled for Linda Carter in the old Wonder Woman TV show.

329: During Matrix' interrogation and instruction scene after being tranquilised ("I wanted to use the real thing!!") Dan Hedaya sneaked in a pretty decent Punjabi accent. Watch him say this line if you don't believe me:


"Because you're going to return to Val Verde and you are going to kill the president that you helped to overthrow me."


330: Pulling a funny face (Arius) while shooting a Steyr Aug will not end well.

331: During the Reagan administration you could buy Bazookas from Surplus stores.

332: In California if a chick driving a Cadillac smiles at you at a stop light it means she's obviously a hooker.

333: Bennett has an edge.

Re: 100 things Iu00b4ve learned from Commando

I apologize if you did mention this one, but I learned - "You should always hide under a bed if terrorists are searching for you. Especially, the bed in your room. They will never think to look under a bed."

Re: 100 things Iu00b4ve learned from Commando

314 - Matrix did not need Bennet's help to kill every one of them in the blink of an eye.

315 - Every time John Matrix shoots, no matter what it is, is an instant kill shot.

316 - Escaping from your imminent death just pisses Bennett off worse.

317 - Even if someone wipes out your entire army by himself, dont run away - hey.. screw it. You can still kill him.

318 - The only thing between Matrix and Dan Hedaya, is a chubby Freddie Mercury who is working for nothing.

319 - President Valasquez trusts John Matrix.

320 - Its never a good idea for a mall cop to brag to chicks about kicking ass before he sees whos ass it is he has to kick.

321 - Once a cop threatens to shoot the guy who just kidnapped you and ripped the seat out of your car, then you immediately switch to his side and save his life.

322 - Sully had plenty of time to steal a quarter from The stewardess instead of leaving the mall to tell his boss.

323 - No one ever told Arnold he has a lot of hostility.

324 - Saying Fly or Die works every time.

325 - Chain Mail tank tops are not meant for certain people.

326 - Getting shocked on an electric fence makes you feel good!

OHHH GOOOD FOR YOU!!

Re: 100 things Iu00b4ve learned from Commando

#327 becoming fast friends with matrix so he will tell you where he gets the fast drying pants. Especially after you jump into a swamp!

#328 find out who sharpens the saw blades cause obviously they're"Sharp".
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